


midnights in Brooklyn

by candidshot



Series: stories from an alternate universe [13]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Plays the Piano, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Any more tagging would be spoilers!, Churches & Cathedrals, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Falling In Love, First Dates, First Meetings, M/M, Magnus Bane Sings, Supportive Magnus & Alec, home dates, prostitute!Alec, the wind and moon and soulmates with the sun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-04-16 11:43:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14164098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candidshot/pseuds/candidshot
Summary: Prostitute Alec meets Magnus. Magnus buys him but the night doesn't exactly go as how Alec had imagined it would.A sorta whore!verse.chap 12/12: the whore, the orphan— and what's to be.





	1. shogi over sex

That particular night when Alec showered, got dressed, sprayed some cologne on and left his place for his work alley, a pleasant tingly feeling dashed across his skin and pushed him in shivers. It was like the wind had secretly touched and caressed him.

That feeling - Alec couldn’t yet put his finger on it.

Walking down the busy streets of Brooklyn with too many vehicles and too many people and too much noise, the shivers eventually disappeared but his skin still tingled – it was like all the hair on his body stood waiting in anticipation for something big.

But that feeling, Alec still couldn’t put his finger on it.

Then just after twelve, as he entered the back alley where he worked, volts of chills hit him in pleasant waves and he gasped, opened his mouth wide and inhaled deeply when the Chinese lanterns with its dim lighting perfectly outlined the shape of a man.

Alec swallowed some more air but that feeling – he still couldn’t put his finger on it.

Magnus stepped past Alec but then suddenly stopped, turned around and looked him up and down and sighed. Alec also fretted about on his feet, patting down his clothes then asked, “Wondering why a man is selling himself in a place like this?”

“No”, Magnus answered, his voice sounding like he already knew something. He sighed again. “I’m wondering if you’re free right now”.

Alec was still fidgeting in his jacket, pulling on his shirt collar and scratching the side of his neck. The tingles had gotten worse, the kind of tingle that deliciously hot and spicy Thai food does to the lips. “Yeah, there’s a hotel right over th---“

“Won’t be necessary. Follow me”.

Alec followed Magnus home, his eyes searching about the penthouse - he’d certainly hit the jackpot.

“Make yourself comfortable”, Magnus told him. “I’m going to take a shower”.

“Okay”. Alec removed his jacket while looking around. It would seem like the tingles on his skin was subsiding but there was something else happening, something like a flash – a moment that’s his but he hadn’t yet grasped exactly what was reeling.

Anyhow, by the time Magnus came out of the shower, Alec was already in the bed.

Magnus looked at him with his head slightly cocked to the side, one eyebrow raised. “Why are you naked?”

Alec sat up and raised his eyebrows too. “Why? Would you rather do it in clothes?”

“Yes. I would. So get dressed. I’ll be in the kitchen”.

Alec was in a bind. Being a prostitute, he’d met all sorts of people but this would be his first – a kinky client who obviously wanted to have kitchen counter sex while fully clothed.

But what he found instead was a well robed Magnus waiting with a glass of what looked like scotch. “Nightcap?” he asked when Alec walked over to him.

The tingling on Alec’s skin was semi-replaced by confusion mixed in with something else. “I don’t really drink”.

Magnus’s eyes widen in question. “Oh, a prostitute who doesn’t drink, huh?”, he echoed, then pouring Alec's share into his own glass.

“Yeah", Alec affirmed. "I suppose a line has to be drawn somewhere”.

Magnus nodded. “Then how about some oolong tea? I’m a good brewer”.

At this point, Alec’s forehead was wrinkled with tons of questions. “So let me get this straight, you’re paying me to shower and have tea with you?”

“It seems I am”, Magnus coolly answered. “Problem?”

“Is that some weird foreplay you're into?”

Magnus had a tiny smile at the corner of his mouth. “I’m into all sorts of things. Japan for example. Do you like Japan?”

“I like sushi”.

“Then have a seat and let me teach you and then beat you in a game of shogi”.

Alec did sit. “Shogi? What's that?” he asked, watching Magnus pull out an old antique looking table.  

“This is shogi”, Magnus answered, dusting off the board. “Japanese chess, if you prefer”.

Alec’s eyes bulged. “Let me get this straight - once again - you picked up a whore to come play chess at 2 a.m.?”

Magnus looked over at him, his eyes a glimmering brown. “Can’t your ass do with a night off?”

Alec found himself smiling, the tingling and the confusion and the airy feeling was bit by bit being replaced by a warm feeling like that of a single candlelight. But he still didn’t know what to call it.

They played shogi – the sound of the board pieces hitting the antique wooden table echoed in the thin air. Alec eventually had tea and soon his tingling more or less, tamed. Magnus drank scotch and later some tea. Then somewhere later during all that, Alec fell asleep, waking up in the morning with a blanket thrown over him. It took him a while to make sense of the universe and his whereabouts before getting up, looked around and searched for Magnus. But all he saw was a fruit plate and an envelope underneath with his payment for the night. But what caught his attention the most was the handwritten note taped to an apple – a note that read;

_Thanks for the company. Let yourself out – M._

Then all at once, the tingles came back. 

They came rushing in like the gush of a hundred broken dams and kept welling up strange feelings in him. Alec still couldn’t put his finger on it – those feelings that had his skin still tingling and his breath still hitched but― he grabbed an apple from the bowl, put on his coat and tucked his night’s worth in his wallet. He then took one last look around the penthouse, thinking it’s really a pity that that would be his first and his last time.

But―

But a week later – a night just after twelve, Alec found himself standing in a different back alley when the dimmed Chinese lanterns outlined a very familiar shape.

And when their eyes met, Magnus sighed again and he didn’t even bother to stop walking but almost immediately, a knowing smile crept up his lips. “So you felt it too, huh?”

Alec was already very simply following behind him. “Yeah”.

“Not going to fight it?”

“Can we?”

“Should we?”

Alec inhaled then exhaled long and loud while opening his coat for the night breeze to cool his tingling skin. “It’s a losing battle, I think”.

Magnus made a low hopeless chuckle, loosening his scarf and letting it blow in the wind. “I agree”.

“So you don’t mind it?”

“It doesn’t matter", Magnus shrugged. "I can’t help myself”.

Alec's low laughter was crisp in the early spring air as he took two quick steps to walk side by side with Magnus. “Yeah, me neither”.

Yes.

It was that feeling―

“Then let’s do sushi tonight”.

―that feeling of knowing they’ll inevitably fall in love with each other.

 

 _\---_

_magnus x alec[](https://twitter.com/hashtag/Shadowhunters?src=hash)_


	2. little by little

It would seem that once they met, it became impossible not to meet.

Different nights, different alleys – it didn’t matter down whichever tiny lane cornered in by towering skyscrapers, one would show up with the other minutes later in tow.

“Why do you keep following me?” Magnus asked, after a few nights of this occurrence.  

Alec’s feet were moving in sync with Magnus’s steps. “Why do you let me?”

As usual, Magnus was wrapped tight in his coat breathing frosty air in and out. “I have no control over you”.

Alec snickered, skipped a few steps for him to catch up and for them to walk side by side. “Then just let me be”.

That was the last time Magnus said anything about that.

For perhaps night after night, the wind was making sure that what was to be would become.

But knowing what they knew didn’t suddenly make them committed to each other. They were neither in love or in-like with each other so life wasn’t about to suddenly drastically change, so _someday_ was still a far many weeks away – possibly months or even years.

But the wind blew in a cheeky sort of caressing and time was impatient, seemingly unable to keep still.

“Just how many did you do?” Magnus asked, watching Alec pass him and come in.

“My wallet is happy”, Alec replied, loosening his coat and tossing it on the couch, the air it let pass caused Magnus to wriggle his nose and cough.

“Go shower”, Magnus told him, removing Alec’s coat off the sofa, “You reek of a few people”.

“Do I rank that much?” Alec asked, unbuttoning the rest of his clothes, walking towards the bathroom.

Magnus didn’t reply.

Instead, he laid the board game and waited.

Alec didn’t rank per se.

Though over time, everything started to fall in place – Alec came, Alec showered, Alec then later joined Magnus for a snack and game. Some nights they repeated a game of shogi, other nights a deck of cards hit the table but tonight—

“Two people playing monopoly is pretty pointless”, Alec settled in on the carpet with a cushion underneath his ass.  

“There are more pointless things in life”, Magnus answered, issuing the token and cash.

“Like what?”

“Acid wash jeans”.

Alec made a pretend concerned face. “I can’t imagine your trauma”.

Magnus rolled the dice, got a double six that landed him in jail. “You can’t imagine”, he giggled.

The game went on until the moon started to fall and the morning wind blew in a brand new day. By then Magnus was nodding drowsy with sleep, and Alec just sat there, enjoying the beauty of Magnus’s bobbing head – with the way his hair fell to the side and over his face. But what had Alec even more intrigued was that even in his sleep, Magnus held an elegance in his posture – his body positioned like a renaissance sculpture done by Michelangelo. 

Alec soon went and bent down in front of him, listening to his soft breathing and watching the gentleness that polished his face and even his little frown played a new kind of sexy.

Alec’s heart was getting impatient and excited.

“Magnus, go to bed”, his voice was low, his eyes curious and happy watching this man before him come awake like poppies opening in the dew of morning.

Magnus nodded, his eyes slowly fluttered open as he wrapped his robe around him and headed to the bedroom. It wasn’t until he reached the door that he turned around and asked, “What are you doing?”

Alec was already lying in the couch, fixing himself beneath the blanket. “Well I can’t exactly play the game by myself so I’m going to bed too”.

“I didn’t expect you to”, Magnus yawned, “But wouldn’t you sleep better in a bed?” he yawned again, “I’m too sleepy to bite”, he said, leaving the door open behind him.

Alec did hesitate, because except for that first time when they’d met, Alec never again touched Magnus’s bed.  But it was like something was in the air and so starting from Magnus’s sleepy invitation, in a slow tiptoe, Alec’s presence started to take its place and leave its form all over Magnus’s penthouse.

Few nights later, one of those rare nights that were strangely becoming popular – it was like there soon came nights when they would miss each other in the alleys. It was like _time_ had already done its job to ensure that they’d become fully acquainted with each other and was then stepping back somewhat, letting them do the inevitable last bit.

This night was such a night.

When Alec walked past, Magnus caught a whiff and looked up, watching Alec take a seat in the couch. Fiddling his fingers as though that very action would grant him the proper words to say, Magnus finally said, “You know not to sit anywhere without showering first”. And when Alec looked at him with furrowed brows he added, “You reek of sweat and another scent that’s not your own”.

Alec tilted his head to the side. “And this suddenly bothers you?”

“It doesn’t bother me”, Magnus got up, fixing the already well-lined books on the shelf. “It just might be best to shower first then come relax”.

Alec watched him a while before saying, “Well, I’d planned to. I’m just tired”.

Magnus made a vacant hum, the _how many_ question once again on the tip of his tongue. But his curiosity stayed there as he took down a hardcover book and ran his fingers through the pages – his mind clearly elsewhere.

It was then that Alec asked, “Magnus, does it bother you that I now come here most nights?”

“No. Of course not”, Magnus replied with a dismissive wave of his hand – and he truly was being honest, he really did enjoy Alec’s company, it was just that—

“Okay, if you say so.”

Alec soon left the room silent with Magnus and his thoughts.

Magnus then went back to shifting the books around, flipping through pages without reading - sighing and sighing until coming to a standstill, sighing again then sitting back down – his eyes glued in the direction of the bedroom where the bathroom was and he sighed again at the realisation of exactly what had him suddenly bothered – bothered by Alec smelling of others.

And so he sighed again, opening the balcony door and letting the wind in.

Really,

He knew it was coming but still, it came way sooner than he’d expected.

\---

_magnus x alec[](https://twitter.com/hashtag/Shadowhunters?src=hash)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since day one I've wanted to make this into a multi-chaptered story but at the same time I wondered if it was necessary but I really wanted to make it into one so here goes... 
> 
> As you read along, do let me know what you think XD


	3. like an air balloon floating in Oz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec goes MIA  
> Magnus visits brothels

‘Sometimes

the wind blows

and

the mysteries

of love

come clear.’

But it was still an inkling that was being impatiently stirred by the wind.

An inkling that Magnus thought he could easily shrug away and ignore, but absence provokes one’s heart – making it hasty, impatient and a little anxious especially since the next night, Alec didn’t come.

Two nights later, Alec was also a no-show.

On the third night, Magnus reached for his mobile phone but could only flick it between his fingers after only then realising that after all that time they’d spent together, only Alec knew how to reach him since they would either meet in one of those alleys by chance or Alec would just show up randomly - so they never got around to exchanging numbers.

A fourth and a fifth night also passed.

On the sixth night, Magnus took a stroll.

Down one alley, he strolled, looking around indifferently. Down a second alley he strolled and when he still didn’t see what he wanted, he stood and waited at the corner of a third, sighing and frowning while looking up at the moon and wrapping himself from the cold.

He was only concerned. Nothing else.

And so soon, he left with the chilly wind trailing behind him.

_Yes,_  he convinced himself - he was only concerned. Nothing else.

After all, not because Alec knew Magnus would come to love him or that Magnus knew Alec would come to love him meant things would be smooth sailing.

As a matter a fact, it might prove all the more difficult because―  

Well, it’s not like the heart can choose who it loves.

So not because they knew it would happen meant sunny days, ceremonial engagements and a flowery wedding party anytime soon.

Or at least, that shouldn’t be the case.

So then why was it that when Magnus looked at Alec, it was like feeling the wind in his hair?

And at other times when Alec looked at Magnus, it was like the ocean breeze fresh in his nostrils.

It was no secret between them that whenever they’re together, every single one of those moments felt as tranquil as an air balloon floating in Oz. 

On the eight night, Alec showed up saying, “I’d some business to take care of”, his hair lightly tousled, his dress shirt slightly crumpled and tucked in his waist, his tie loose, and the colour of his belt matched his brown leather shoes - and when he stepped past Magnus, the wind he carried was subtly noted with tonka beans, sweat and something ambery too.

Magnus inhaled him fully.

He actually loved that scent. 

“Going, somewhere?” Magnus asked, taking in the view he didn’t know was available till now.

“Yeah, here”, Alec answered, a carry-on dragging behind in his left hand.

“Here? With a suitcase?”

“Yeah, my flight got delayed coming back so I missed the last train heading to my place”, he then looked behind him at Magnus. “It’s ok if I stay, right?”

“Yeah, of course”.

“Great. Be right back. Shower”.

Magnus watched him go, listening to the sound of the suitcase zipper sliding open and closed and not long after, to the sound of the shower running. It took Magnus a while to notice that he hadn’t yet moved from where Alec left him standing –  far deep in thoughts wondering aloud, “What’s a whore doing going on business trips?”

And one day he will get his answer.

He really wanted to know but that night, he didn’t feel the need or felt he had the right to ask.

“Going to bed already?” Alec came out the shower with his hair wet and dripping down his neck. And when Magnus looked him up and down with a face that showed too many emotions that Alec couldn’t define, he added, “Sorry, the hotel I stayed at provided night gowns so― I’m borrowing yours”.

Magnus looked him up and down again, the side of lips secretly curling up – his eyes never leaving Alec even as he took a sip of his tea – awing at how good and sexy Alec looked in his night robe. He took another sip before putting the teacup down and walking over to Alec, pulling at the robe. “And why did you choose the one with the shortest arms?” he smiled, pulling at the sleeve, “Follow me, I should have one that will fit you much better”.

Alec returned the smile, still trying to adjust the sleeve. “Naw, this is pretty good. Thanks”, he then started to sniff the clothes then added, “It smells heavenly.  I love the scent of lavender”.

Magnus made a fond sound. “Catarina will be happy to hear”.

Alec’s hesitation was obvious. “Your girlfriend?” he asked, taking a calculated sip of the tea Magnus had offered him, trying to play cool as though he was simply making conversation and not the least bit interested in Magnus’s answer. “Did she buy you the laundry detergent?”

Magnus smiled, well aware that Alec was fishing and found him very cute. “No and no”, he answered, not hiding his intrigue at Alec’s line of questioning. “She’s a very close friend, an herbalist. She brewed me a bottle at her home”.

“Oh”, Alec sipped again, “Now that we’re on the topic, should I take a guess that you’re not seeing anyone?”

Magnus took a deep breath that ended with a nod, “I’ve been out the game for years now”.

With a smirk, Alec asked, “Years? Sure your seeds haven’t already dried up?”

"Who knows?" Magnus returned the smirk with a wink. "I may or may not find out”.

At this, Alec arched his eyebrows. “Sounds like you’re saying you don’t do hook ups or one night stands”.

“That’s precisely what I’m saying”.

Slowly, like a feather falling in the wind, awe washed over Alec’s face, his mouth a bit open. “No wonder you never wanted sex from me”, he said, “I thought maybe you were impotent or had a tiny penis”.

Magnus laughed. “The other night I stopped by the brothel looking for you”.

Alec did another eyebrow quirk, a teasing, knowing smile on his lips. “And why would you do that?”

“You know why”, Magnus replied, pouring himself another drink of tea.

“Well it’s either you’ve fallen in love with me.. . ”, Alec answered, “Or, you’re keeping dibs on me – making sure the goods doesn’t get too damaged before it reaches you”.

Magnus only cocked his head to the side, twirling the teacup in his hands. “And you?”

“What about me?”

The frank, steady look in Magnus’s eyes thoroughly repeated the question without him needing to speak.  

Alec soon understood and followed up with a laugh. “Well, I missed the last train but that didn’t mean I couldn’t have grabbed a cab back home so – “, he stopped, knowing he didn’t need to say the rest.  

Magnus refilled Alec's cup. “So it’s either you love and missed me”, he deduced with a smug grin pretty on his lips. “Or, you’re just helluva cheap to pay for a cab back”.

Alec chuckled, putting his teacup away. “Let’s just call truce and settle on you missing me too”.

Magnus smiled. “That’s a cheeky way to phrase it”.

“I don’t make the rules”.

Then bit by bit the moon waned, but in the still of the night they dropped comments here and there and sudden short chuckles would at random pierce the air. Then out of the silence, Magnus asked, “So you had to take care of some business, huh?” quoting Alec.

“Yeah”, Alec answered, “throwing his head back, “And as always, it was tiring”.

“Why so?” Magnus asked, thinking he could already imagine, “Negotiation to open up your own brothel? An orgy? A catwalk of male strippers?”

With his head still thrown back and eyes closed, Alec chuckled. “Now that sounds like a dream”.

After that, silence once again fell so Magnus took that for the end of that conversation, moving to take away their empty teacups and the kettle back to the kitchen when Alec suddenly said, “Sleeping with strangers and taking their money is more a hobby – or rather, my escape”.

Magnus paused, his forehead crinkled in confusion since none of that sentence made sense but still, “Escape from what?”

It was then that Alec slowly opened his eyes and replied, “A hectic tiring life that won’t see me”.

And Magnus just looked at him and sighed.

And right then Alec knew that a part of Magnus―  wished he hadn’t asked.

\---

Magnus x Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quote at the start is by Angelo Badalamenti
> 
> Thanks for reading. Always great knowing what you think XD


	4. a dirty ball of cash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learn a bit more about Magnus.  
> Alec also seems to have something else going on.  
> Alec and Magnus officially flirting.

‘Love

and lose

ugliness.

Forget

their imperfection

and

ugly parts'.

So when Alec threw a deformed ball of crumpled bills on the table next to his wallet, Magnus wasn’t sure if it was the loud thud it made but he cringed and folded his arms, holding himself.

Never before had money looked so dirty and oppressive.

“It’s only money, Magnus”, Alec noticed and said, “It’s not going to give you STDs”.

Magnus sighed, his forehead slightly wrinkled while his index finger tapped against his forearm, “People don’t usually collect money for their hobbies”.

“But gamblers do”, Alec answered with indifference, already stripping for his routine shower.

“So whoring is your way of gambling?”

Alec shrugged and stepped out of his trousers. “Well, I met you, didn’t I?”

Releasing his arms, Magnus swiped his thumb against the base of his lips in a pondering sweep, “So, you’re saying if you weren’t doing what you’re now doing then we would never have met?”

Alec gave an impish grin, “Sounds poetic, doesn’t it?”

Magnus heaved again, his gaze going back to the crumpled bills. “Though that still doesn’t answer why you need to whore since clearly you have a decent job and surely—”, he paused, his hands gesturing as though Alec was an art piece at an auctioned, “I mean, just look at you— you have legs that go on for miles, hair anyone would want to bury their face in, great eyebrows, beautiful eyes and your butt has two of the cutest cheeks my eyes have ever laid on”, he inhaled, “—my point is, Alec… you can have anyone you want”.

And while Alec stood, listened and watched all that adorable gushing over him, he’d slowly started to colour flushed and had become too overwhelmed to move— clearly not used to the compliment that had seamlessly rolled off Magnus’s tongue and had covered him in fondness. “It just happened”, he finally said, “It was sheer coincidence, a mistake that somehow gave me a way out”.

“A way out of what?” Magnus asked with eyes soft and curious – begging to be told.

“I told you. My life is busy… yet monotonous and meaningless”.

Magnus took a step closer, his eyes catching every pixel of change that passed over Alec’s face. “And you think now you’ve found meaning?”

“I don’t know”, Alec lightly shrugged, looking deeply at Magnus, “But let me in and maybe I’ll find out”.

“Let you in where?”

“In you”, Alec licked his lips, a smirk back on his mouth.

Magnus rolled his eyes, stepped back and leant against the wall instead. “You open up for others but want me to open up for you?”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything”, Alec drawled with a smugness grin.

“Well I suppose you can always dream”.

“Thanks for the encouragement”.

Magnus released a soft chuckle, watching as Alec suddenly covered his crotch. “I can’t believe you got hard from that”.

“Well, I can’t help that my imagination is vivid”, Alec replied with a cheeky grin, his hand still hovering.

And Magnus laughed— he was amused at the way their conversation would oftentimes change tone from a quiet stream to become one that was haphazard like a passing tornado. “And all I can imagine is some faceless man ramming his cum inside you”.

The look on Alec’s face was a perfect blend of surprise at Magnus’s rawness but also mischief if it were to be mixed with gasoline – making his heart skip beats and giving him back the tingles on his skin. “It’s best you delete that image and replace it with things you’ll like me do once I get inside you”.

Magnus didn’t even bat an eye at Alec’s swift comeback so he gave him an indulging smile, “You better go take a cold shower”.

But the moment Alec left for the bathroom, a tickle in the atmosphere caused Magnus to shiver. So he went to close the balcony doors. After all, the snow had not so long ago melted away and while spring was gentler, the night breeze hurling outside the penthouse still clung to the crisp of winter— and that’s when Magnus realised that a fair amount of time had already passed and he was almost a season closer to love the man the wind blew him and said he’ll inevitably love.

But still,

Watching the moon and wrapping himself tight, he sighed again as the brittle spring breeze bit into his skin. He hated spring – he hated it because soon it would be summer and summer, he also hated because the heat reminded him of his loneliness and of his loss and of—.

It reminded him of being around seven or eight years old with the sun hot and high in the Indonesian June sky. The yard where he lived was big with their tiny house surrounded by ripened mangoes, rose apples and soap berries that fell off the trees and littered the ground in yellow and green and quite literally, sweetened the wind. It reminded him of days spent with his mother on their back verandah looking out— looking at what? Magnus never found out but it was always at the same time, between the hours of one to two in the afternoon. After feeding him lunch and a cut of sweet martabak, she would routinely take her place looking out at something or looking out somewhere Magnus couldn’t see.

Back at the time, at such a young and innocent age, Magnus just figured it was because it was too hot for her to do anything else than to watch the butterflies against the wind and the clothes twisting on the line and the fruit flies swarming fruits that ripened and dropped or even, he thought that perhaps she just loved listening to the soothing sound of the wind that rustled betwixt leaves and at times, its heavy tousle would rave through the windows knocking over picture frames and vases— but whatever it was, to him, everything felt peaceful under the fair sun and the sway of the wind in June.

But then one day, that very wind took his mother away.

Or perhaps, it was she who had tamed the wind and had it take her with it.

But either way she left— leaving Magnus with only a cut of sweet martabak.

So those stories of broken people trying to fix broken people don’t ever end well.

Everyone knows that.

Magnus knew it well.

 .

A few hours later when Alec woke up to Magnus’s robe falling off him, Alec licked his lips to the glimpse of Magnus’s nipples peeking out and suddenly, all Alec wanted for breakfast was to pinch Magnus’s nipple then kiss it then pinch it then kiss it again and just as he bent over and pressed his lips against Magnus’s skin, he heard—

“What are you doing?”

Alec didn’t even flinch. Instead, a smirk quickly scampered across his lips and raised his cheekbones. “I’m kissing your neck. What else?”

“More like you’re chewing on me”, Magnus smiled, his morning face was the usual impeccable that Alec would sometimes reach over trace his cheeks and his lips and even his forehead just to reassure himself that he wasn’t still dreaming, because Magnus was unbelievably beautiful even in his sleep.

And even though caught red-handed, Alec didn’t bother to hide his temptation, he instead quickly stretched across more to supple and nibble on Magnus’s throat before then saying, “Well, the apple did tempt Adam”.

And Magnus did smile again, his heart doing a lub-dub sort of rhythm that thundered all the more when Alec planted himself over Magnus and held his gaze— and at that moment when Magnus looked up at Alec, he saw a tornado – one that had pretty eyes, a beating heart and lips wetting and lowering to reach his.

But the tension didn’t last long because Alec’s phone alarmed. Magnus sighed and pushed him away, “I’m not saying it won’t happen, but today is not the day you’ll jump me and finger me”, he said with a tiny tease shiny on his lips.

Alec did chuckle, then rolling over and sitting up to check his phone. “We should do dinner… dinners are nice”, he said, putting on his trousers. “Why do we never have dinner?”

“One—yes, dinners are nice”, Magnus replied, sitting up in bed, watching Alec button his shirt and truth be told, maybe it was a morning thing with men waking up horny but Magnus really wanted to supple on Alec’s manly tittles and hairy belly button. “And two, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because at dinnertime you’re too busy spreading or backing it”.

Alec smiled, licking his lips again. “So are you up to changing my pace a bit?”

“You’re not even denying it”, Magnus sighed, glancing through his planner, “I have to give a lecture at six, but it should be over by eight”.

“So we meet at nine?”

“Sure”.

And Alec was all smiles. “Great. Anything is good with me so long so as we get sweet martabak after”. At that, a cloud must’ve fallen over Magnus’s face for Alec then watchfully added, “Don’t want to? It’s an Indonesian dessert”.

Magnus could feel his lungs being pressured to breathe. “No, it’s just…”, he paused to inhale and regather his thoughts and control the unpleasant tickling, “It’s just that it’s been a while”.

“Well then you’re in for a treat”, Alec replied with gladness, grabbing his wallet, the ball of crumpled cash and the rest of his belongings. “I know this place that uses just the right amount of chocolate, the perfect quality cheese and a lovely toss of peanuts”.

Magnus squeezed a smile, “I didn’t peg you to have a sweet tooth”.

“Well I’m a man of many layers”, Alec winked. “Anyway, I’m now up and ready to check in with my office, attend a stakeholder meeting, go see my kids, grocery shop, check in on some other business and then I’ll be all yours, Mr. Bane”.

Magnus laughed and walked him to the door and asked with a tease, “What? No whoring tonight?”

And just so Alec mouthed a kiss with a wink, “My butt needs a rest”.

Magnus’s chuckles were full and hearty watching Alec open and closed the door– thinking that even tornados have a safe spot too and that—

‘Maybe,

just maybe,

two

broken people

could manage

to create

something whole’.

And so it wasn’t until after a cup of freshly brewed coffee, a plate of fruits, a read of the morning’s news and warm water pouring down on him from the shower that Magnus would replay what Alec had said and quietly turned the shower off, pulling the curtains back and just stood in the tub watching himself in the mirror, repeating what Alec had said, “My kids…”.

.

.

.

Magnus sighed.

Scratch that.

Those stories of broken people being with other broken people really don’t ever end well.

 

_\---_

_magnus x alec[](https://twitter.com/hashtag/Shadowhunters?src=hash)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first quote is a translation of the Japanese saying, 'ai shite sono shuu wo wasuru'.  
> The second quote is by Nalini Singh
> 
> Thanks for the kudos/feedback!  
> It's really a joy reading what you think... your theories and how you perceive the story XD


	5. play me i’m yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus go on their first date.  
> We learn some of Alec's past.  
> Magnus told Alec about his mother.  
> Alec played the piano and Magnus sang.

‘I have

late night

conversations

with the moon,

He tells me

about the sun

and I

tell him

about you’.

Perhaps the plan changed between the time they made it and the time they met but at around nine in the night, they both strolled into Brooklyn’s Chinatown.

Their first stop was at a little place out on the fringe of eateries, at a bakery with an appended teashop and it was there, that they had a fair serving of almond cookies and mooncakes.

While dusting his lips of sweet crumbs Magnus asked, “Can you tell me why we’re having dessert before the main meal?”

“We saw it first”, Alec simply replied, licking his thumb and index finger.

Magnus fondly watched him. “You’re like a seven month pregnant woman”.

“Nothing wrong with that”, Alec chuckled. “As long as you be my baby daddy”.

Magnus laughed but in the end admitted that the idea sounded enticing.

Forty-five minutes later they’d walked just a bit further up the street to a tiny shop of checkered tablecloths, posters of glam Chinese movie stars and scattered paper dragons.

“I take it you didn’t have breakfast nor lunch today,” Magnus said, very amused with the way Alec’s cheeks had become puffy with pork cheeks and turnip cakes.

“You got me”, Alec answered, his mouth so stuffed that his words were barely coming out. “I wanted to hurry and finish up work on time”.

“To meet me?” Magnus cheekily asked. He was having potatoes marinated in Budweiser beer.

“Yes”, Alec answered, “As a matter of fact yeah, I was really looking forward to our last minute long overdue dinner date”.

Magnus smiled, portioning the tray of turmeric-scented salmon they shared. But at the same time, he could hear his heart drumming in his ears, “What are you? A kid?”

Alec winked, one cheek still overly puffy, “I’ll be your baby too if you want”.

And if that was a seductive ploy then it worked, because Magnus pushed over his share of turmeric salmon to Alec, a gesture that created stars in Alec’s eyes.

So at that pace, it didn’t take them long to finish eating and be walking past brightly yellow lit restaurants while letting their spring coat open and feel it flap in the wind before hopping on a streetcar.

And perhaps it was watching the city street lights flash past but the silence that settled between them was as comfortable as a floating petal and it pulled a subconscious whisper from Magnus, “I haven’t felt like this in a very long time”.

“Felt like what?” Alec asked, a smile sliding all the way from his eyes and down onto his mouth— enough to tell that he too felt what Magnus felt.

Magnus inhaled and released, “Light. Fun. Free. Something that’s probably happiness”.

Alec grinned and playfully bounced against his hip. “You’re welcome”.

A short ride later, they got off at the station by the pier and took a route that made the Brooklyn Bridge a whole lot grandeur than it appeared from Magnus’s balcony.

“It would be nice playing the piano under the open sky”, Alec suddenly said as they walked a well-lit path that winded through the city park.

“You play?” Magnus asked, his eyes a glitter of surprise when Alec nodded, “Well Mister Lightwood, you’re full of mysteries”.

Alec smiled his brightest and most confident, “All waiting for you to unravel”.

Magnus took the hint. “So you’re saying you’d tell me anything and all I have to do is ask?”

“That’s right Mister Soulmate, Sir”.

“Then…” Magnus made a thinking sound, “What’s your true thoughts on acid washed jeans?”

The chuckle that Alec made cleansed the air with heartiness. “Well, let’s just say it can’t be worse than me making stew”, he answered, “And?”

Magnus had to admit that that answer was well put together. “And hmmm... where do you live?”

“With my parents”.

“Nice people?”

“They find me repulsive”.

Magnus halted, the sudden dark change in tone caught him off guard, “Why would they?”

Alec inhaled and released a blow so long and heavy that Magnus’s heart clenched. “Oh you know, it's the normal story you hear all the time”, Alec began. “Prominent family. Two children; one girl, one boy. Boy is expected to marry and carry on the family name. But as you can see… the boy is as gay as gay will ever be… so you can imagine how that – how he, became his parents’ biggest shame and disappointment”.

“No”, Magnus shook his head, “I can’t imagine why being capable of only finding love in men a reason for you to become their biggest shame or even a fraction of a shame. But if we want to shame anyone, it should be them for rejecting you… it’s all a massive shame on them, Alec. Not you”.

And Alec smiled, a gentle and well-appreciated gesture that softened his eyes and relaxed his jawlines and returned the melody to his voice, “Well aren’t you sweet?”, he told Magnus, taking his hand, “So I take it your family welcomed you with hugs and a kiss on the forehead when you came out to them as gay?”

“First of all…” Magnus raised an eyebrow at him in a drumroll sort of way, “I’m actually bi so that’s that”.

Alec didn’t hide his surprise, “Well look at you?” he replied, “The best of both worlds, I'd say”, he smiled, “And second of all?”

“And second of all, my mum left me… she completely abandoned me when I was just a child”.

And the way how Alec’s eyes suddenly brightened under the moon was like he was relieved because misery liked company – and for the first time he felt as though he wasn’t alone in the pit, “Wow, we really are made for each other”, he said, holding Magnus’s hand even tighter.

“Can’t deny it”, Magnus replied, his head tilted back looking into the sky and at the stars he can’t see but is sure are shining down on them. “But why do you still live at home?”

Alec sighed, “Call it crazy but it’s better than being alone”.

“How so?”

“The voices of distain get louder in silence”, he said, him too searching the sky for stars, “I also want to try and make up for it any way I can”.

“Well it’s not like you did anything wrong”, Magnus reminded him.

“Yeah, but reality is a different thing”.

Magnus looked over at him with a frown, “And how has that been working out?”

Alec dropped his head and gave a tired laugh, “I whore”.

It was only then that Magnus started to fit the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle – this broken man was starting to make sense.

“Magnus, meeting you was really a gamble”, Alec said, fully locking his entire arm around Magnus's, “I wanted someone to numb my pain. Someone to distract me. I don’t know for yet sure as yet but I feel like that night of tea and shogi really saved me in a way”.

Magnus took a moment before saying, “You’re welcome”, with a smile.

Alec was truly grateful. “So go on, anything else you want to know?”

What happened in the morning— all that talk about kids had been on Magnus’s mind all day and he was planning to wait until after dinner to ask but then things took another unexpected turn and now – as he watched the way the moon half shaded Alec’s face, Magnus couldn’t tell if he was truly in the clear to ask that particular question, afraid that it would set off dozens of landmines not for Alec but for him. So he asked instead, “But how did whoring become a hobby when you could’ve just slept with anyone you wanted without taking money?”

Alec made a thinking sound, “Well, a man has got his needs”, he smirked, but when Magnus didn’t play back, he added, “But it’s probably because old habits die hard. But who knows?” he rhetorically asked, looking back up into the sky, “Perhaps tonight is my first step away from gambling”, he said, looking back at Magnus, “Because I really wouldn’t want to get you stained”.

It would again take a while before Magnus replied with, “So I’m your rehab?”

“Will you be?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“I don’t think you do, Sir”.

Magnus rolled his eyes and gave a quiet chuckle, “Except that I don’t work for free”.

Yes, old habits die hard but there was another truth that Alec tucked away. Even with his need to satisfy his sexual desire, that pretense of being in need of extra cash was a means to another end – to make up for the disappointment he saw in himself.

But maybe some other day, he’ll tell Magnus.

“It’s not for free”, Alec replied, “I’ll cure your fear of acid washed jeans”, he said, with a teasing grin but then his face rearranged itself into a sincere softness, “And about your mother, any day you’re ready to talk, I have two ears ready to listen and two strong shoulders for you to cry on”.

Magnus smiled, soft and feathery. “That’s going to be about twenty seven years of storytelling”.

“Well good for you”, Alec smiled, walking to what appeared to be a piano fastened to the promenade. “Because guess what?” he asked but not giving Magnus a chance to answer before saying, “I’m not going anywhere”. His pretty words blended in with the view that was unexpectedly beautiful with the dazzling lights shining from the bridge and the high buildings across the city river that slept and shimmered under the silver light of the night.

But even more beautiful - the prettiest sight that Magnus saw that night was of Alec glowing like the moon sent him some of its light for him to wear. And Magnus inhaled, and he was all smiles with his eyes softened and his lips light rosé and spreading apart like a flower opening. “I haven’t seen a street piano in years”, he said, running his fingers along the keys.

“Great”, Alec beamed, sitting on the stool. “I play, you sing”.

Magnus couldn’t say he wasn’t intrigued but singing in an empty city park near midnight with the sound of the piano rolling in the background was sure to send and leave melodies dancing in the air. “Any requests?” he asked, leaning against the piano in a ready posture.

Alec hummed, his fingers lightly tapping on the keys and when Magnus finally picked up on the song, he laughed so hard that he nearly tumbled over.

Alec laughed, his shoulders moving faster, rocking on the stool, “This is your chance to outdo Terry Crews”.

And it would seem that Magnus hated losing for he heaved, cleared his throat, took a deep breath then—

 

♪—And I need you

And I miss you

And now I wonder—

 

And together the two of them;

 

♪—If I could fall into the sky

Do you think time would pass me by?

‘Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles

If I could just see you tonight—.

 

And even if there were bystanders, they wouldn’t have minded for Magnus loved the wind on his face and enjoyed watching it play in Alec’s hair.

“Magnus…”, Alec called, his eyes were big and they dazzled with wonder. 

“Um?” Magnus answered, still feeling light and feathery. “What is it, Alexander?”

Alec wets his lips and leant forward with half his palm spanning Magnus’s face. “You have stars in your eyes”.

And it was then— as though stirred on cue that the wind nodded and whispered  _thank you_  to the moon.

Come tomorrow, the sun will take over.

\---

Magnus x Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, you wanted to know more about the 'kids' but my plan for that reveal wouldn't work with the flow of this chapter... but it comes next.
> 
> So until then, I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts on this chapter ^^
> 
> Oh! The quote is by S. L. Gray
> 
> And did you figure out the song? 
> 
> 'A Thousand Miles' by Vanessa Carlton. Terry Crews sang it in the movie, White Chicks XD


	6. the gay man with kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Magnus and Catarina interaction.
> 
> The story of how Alec first started his 'whore trade'.
> 
> The story of Alec's kids.

‘How quickly jealous

I become

of the wind

when it,

and not I,

gets the privilege

of properly

messing up

your hair.’ 

“Please, Magnus”, Catarina was on the phone, her voice a fill of desperation. “I’ll brew you a bottle of laundry detergent for free if you can do this for me”.

“Tempting, but no”, he answered, phone on speaker as he browsed over his lesson plan, “I’m no good with kids and you know that”.

“Only an hour”, she begged, “I already told them that I know someone who’s good at singing and dancing and who would love to teach them a few steps”.

“So basically, you can't bring them to Broadway so you want me to bring Broadway to them”.

“Or as close as possible”, she answered, and he could tell she was holding her breath but—

“Well, you have my condolences”, he said, glancing at the time on his phone, wondering what Alec might be doing. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, you know that”.

“Magnus, these kids are orphans. All they have to live by, is promises— you know that”.

Magnus sighed, “You really are evil playing at my weak spot”, he replied, packing his lecture materials. “Fine. But I want two extra bottles”.

“Of laundry detergent?” she asked, sounding like she can finally breathe. “Why do you need an extra bottle?”

Magnus smiled, though it was all to himself. “One day you’ll meet him”.

“Meet who?”

“Destiny”.

And he could hear the smile in her voice. “Then I better throw in a bottle of shampoo”.

"Make it sandalwood", Magnus laughed then asked, “So what time is this free Broadway lesson?”

.

At one o’clock next day, Magnus was making his way to the orphanage Catarina sent him. At that season in May, with the buildings high on every side, the wind could be as vicious as a tiny typhoon blowing pedestrians apart in the gridiron city. That afternoon was one of those days with the wind whipping about mad like its duty was to harass clothes, knocking away hats and lifted the hems of skirts and dresses.

Or perhaps, it was only clearing Magnus’s path.

Because, while the hurried wind hustled everyone away, Magnus was walking through the business district with ease— it was like the wind hopped on his feet and carried him to the Tuckahoe marbled and rose window building. And so from the opposite side of the street, he stood and admired this tiny cathedral with its slender ceiling and eighteenth century Gothic feel – it felt very out of place with the way it was tucked between skyscrapers and yet, it was that very oddness that guaranteed its importance and prominence.

And it was just like that that Magnus spotted the head of hair he loved and the tall man he adored walking in the middle of the road like he owned it, skipping between cars as the passing wind touched him all over.

From across the road, Magnus watched with eyes that twinkled— and he shook his head and grinned because really,

The wind was omnipotent.

Or perhaps, the universe saw human life, a puppet show.

At least, that was what Magnus thought with the feel of the city breeze passing betwixt his legs and over his eyebrows as he tilted his head back to take a glimpse at the mid-afternoon sun hoisted high in the sky - and he’s musing, that perhaps, there must be something in the air that first connected him and Alec and that that something was embracing them and making sure that the path that led them to each other remained uninterrupted. 

Magnus was so surprised, almost freaked out by the coincidence that he kept himself hidden.

Then after a few minutes, he tiptoed across the street, went inside and made his business known on Catarina’s behalf.

Though all through confirming his appointment, he kept looking left and right and over his shoulders, his ears cocked ready and waiting for fate’s intrusion. Really, everything was starting to seem creepy. Why was Alec not only on the same street but also in the same building and at the same hour as him?

Coincidences couldn’t be this perfect, could they?

When his business was done he asked the nun, “Did a very tall and really pretty young man in his late twenties come in here?”

The nun smiled. “Well since you mentioned pretty, that can only be Mr. Lightwood”.

“Alec Lightwood?” Magnus double-checked.

“Yes. Do you know him?”

“Yes. You can say that”.  Magnus answered, again looking around him because, even though they were fated, it all still felt much scripted— though he supposed that was how fate worked, “What does he do here?”

“Mr. Lightwood is one of our biggest donors”, she said with a big smile, “He comes in twice a week donating not only money but also his time. He plays with the children”, she pointed to a door behind which Magnus presumed Alec was. “Be it reading or playing the piano or even basketball, the kids love him”, she continued in full delight. “They all consider him a big brother, but he’s in the habit of telling them to call him daddy”, she laughed.

“And they do?”

“Of course, not. He’s just too young and pretty for them to take him seriously but in truth, he’s the closest father figure they’ve ever known. And just recently, a little girl who recently came here has grown very attached to him”.

“I see”, Magnus replied, his heart throbbing, “So that’s what he meant…”

“Do you want to go see him?” She asked, once again motioning to the door, “Today, he’s reading them stories”.

Magnus shook his head, “That’s okay. I wouldn’t want to disturb them”, a sense of relief in his reply, “But tell me, about how long has he been doing this?”

“Volunteering?” she hummed in thought, “About five months now”.

Magnus nodded, deep in thought. “And he gives you his donation in cash?”

“Yeah, that’s right”, she answered. “It’s really admirable – he’s so young but can afford to give us cash at least twice a week and he never accepts a receipt. He keeps saying it’s his duty to contribute the only way he can”.

Magnus hummed deep in thought, said his thank you and left, his mind was still deep with thoughts of Alec. Looking back up at the sun whose touch had grown warm and his skin tingled from the afternoon tousle of the wind.

.

The next time Magnus saw Alec it was daytime on a different day. Days like this became more frequent because the sun could finally stay out longer and play. 

Magnus was at home blending ital vegetable juice when his doorbell rang. And as soon as he opened the door he smiled and greeted, “What did you do today?”

Alec popped off his light sweater with a wide and very enthusiastic grin, “I had the greatest time playing with my kids”. 

And Magnus smiled, his heart unloading while fitting the puzzle together, “So it really is like that, huh?”, he mumbled to himself with a quiet inhale that was long and relieved.  

“How what is?” Alec asked looking over Magnus’s shoulders at the vegetables and herbs.

“Just talking to myself”, Magnus smiled, his heart no longer in delayed mode.

“Just don’t go mad before we have sex”, Alec told him.  

And Magnus couldn’t help himself, he was so overjoyed that little by little he came to know so much about the man the universe said he'll love and who will love him back, “Well it’s good to know your priority”.

Alec smiled back, “But for real though, Magnus, today I had the best time playing with my kids”, he said, his eyes a spiral of happiness. Well, I say my kids, but they’re not mine, obviously, they’re kids at the orphanage I donate to and volunteer at”, he gleamed as though reliving a pleasant memory. “When we get married, I’ll introduce you to them”.

And Magnus felt it—.

The way his heart leapt so high in a salsa dance. No doubt about it, he was in love with a man trying his hardest to survive his reality the only way he knew how. “So you contribute your whore earnings to an orphanage?”

“Ironic, isn’t it?” Alec grinned but it wasn’t happy. “Well, isn’t life about balance?” he continued. “I think of it as a calling or a cleansing or— well put it this way”, he sighed, scratching his head at realising he was tying up himself, “I consider it no different than Robin Hood robbing the rich and giving it to the poor”.

Magnus watched him and nodded contemplatively before saying, “Yeah…. You really are fucked up”, walking closer to Alec and looking at him like the puzzle he just thought he’d worked out somehow managed to have knotted and complicated itself even more. “So start from the start”, he told Alec, after a sip of the green concoction he’d blended. “How did you end up in prostitution and donating your earnings to an orphanage?”

Alec sighed in thought, then closed his eyes as though giving himself time to rearrange his thoughts, “Well it’s no secret, really”, he started, “The first time, was one Friday near midnight. I’d just gotten off work and hailed a taxi to go home but while waiting at a traffic light I was just looking through the window, and that's when I saw a whole world out there – a world that was alive and happy with its neon lights and I wanted to live some of it. So I got off and started walking down the streets when I realised cars would stop and men were trying to pick me up. At first I found it suspicious and irresponsible but it was Friday so I gave in—“.

“That’s not enough reason, Alexander”, Magnus interrupted.

Alec smiled, with a nod. “True. But later I found a gay bar — someone liked me and we had sex?”

Magnus’s eyes widened. “My brain can’t keep up with your story”.  

“It was fast for me too”, Alec admitted with a tight smile. “And the worst part was, by the time I woke up, the man I gave my ass to was already gone leaving no name no number, nothing but some crumpled money on the table. At first, I didn’t know what to do with it – after all, it felt dirty. I felt dirty because really, who likes having sex for money? And was it supposed to have felt that good? The guilt was real. But then one day I saw two nuns— you know, those ones with the bell—.

“The Salvation Army?”

“Yeah. That’s what gave me the idea”.

“To whore for money?”

“No, not whore”, Alec answered, moving his hands like he was molding something, “I simply take the money I never ask for but is given, and turn it into something pure”, he said, his eyes shining as though he was on his way to glory, “In a way, it’s like repentance”.

“Repentance?”

“Yeah, like trying to make up for my own disappointment”.

“Is this what you meant that night in the park, about you trying to make up for being gay?”

“Bingo”.

“So you unofficially adopted a bunch of kids?”

“Is that too weird?” Alec asked, his eyes wide with worry but there was also a sense of achievement in them. “I mean, if I can’t have kids of my own then I should at least try to take care of the ones who need parents, right?”

Magnus shook his head but with a smile.  

“I mean, pleasure is fleeting Magnus. I have sex with these men to escape but once I climax, that’s it. I’m back to reality and I’ll stay there in that reality until the next time I climax in a white wall hotel room, unable to look the guy who’s fucking me or the one I'm fucking in the eyes because my worthlessness is too thick. It’s an awful feeling but at the same time, the pleasure I feel at those moments remind me of who I am - I’m gay as fuck. I get pleasure from men and men only. And even though it’s the only time I feel the most, me", he paused to catch his breath, searching Magnus's eyes, "In the end I’m probably still worthless but at least donating that money, those girls and boys can have a chance at a livable life until a better one comes and— “

Truly, 

Magnus sighed and shook his head again,

Because really,

‘Sometimes

the

most

beautiful

people

are

beautifully

broken.’

“You're not worthless. You're a kind soul  Alexander”, Magnus repeated just like that night in the park, “I’ll admit, you really are fucked up but let’s be honest, who isn’t?” A tiny smile crossed Alec's lips as Magnus held his hands, “Fucked up but with a pure heart and that’s hot", he smiled at Alec who was smiling back. "And again, being gay... being who you are is nothing to be disappointed about”.

Alec nodded, “That might be so, but reality is a different thing”.

“I won’t disagree but sometimes, all you’ve got to do is to love yourself and be proud of yourself and others eventually won’t have any choice but to accept you”.

Alec chuckled, a tidbit of mockery in it, “It does sound nice and easy when you say it”.

“But you’ve already accepted me, haven’t you?” Magnus asked, moving closer.

Alec raised an eyebrow, "Oh, what's this?" because that was the first time Magnus actually made such a brave move on him.

Magnus then leant forward, his voice low and sweet as he answered, “It could be a lap dance or a kiss”.

Alec smiled and puckered his lips and waited.

And so;

The very first time they kissed, it tasted of blended nutmeg and celery.

But it was a kiss made of magic.

“That was disgusting”, Alec laughed, “I can’t believe you’re drinking something so nasty”.

Magnus leant in and smooched another kiss off Alec, “Well I’m sorry that not all kisses are strawberries and rum punch”.

“It’s a shame, really”, Alec replied with a smile, pulling Magnus’s head back down and closing in on his face again— he really loved Magnus’s lips but also really liked the flavour of nutmeg.

Magnus kissed him again – thinking how full his heart was with fluffies and candies and Alexander and a strong need to protect him and console him. 

But even so, Magnus won’t tell Alec to stop— he won’t tell Alec to stop sleeping with other men because clearly, Alec’s action was a means to an end – an action with a purpose and that was the reality Alec lived with— after thinking and thinking, that was the choice Alec made.

But that didn’t mean Magnus couldn’t scare Alec in the direction of his other morbid reality— the worst of scares Alec would encounter.  

“Let’s go on a date, tomorrow”, Magnus kissed Alec’s face and whispered low in his right ear.

As expected, Alec felt excitement in all the right places and brandished his widest grin, “Tell me where and I’ll be there”.

But Alec had no time to put away his smile before Magnus answered, “The doctor’s office”.

“Are you sick?” Alec asked, his pupils dilating with worry.

“I hope not”, Magnus kissed his face again but this time, the stars in his eyes were falling.  

Alec suddenly found it hard to breathe, “Then why—“

“Alexander…”, Magnus kissed his face again, “Let’s go get you tested for STDs”.

Without breathing,

Alec felt his own breath choking him.

\---

Magnus x Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quote#1: Tyler Knott Gregson
> 
> quote#2: Robert M. Drake
> 
> So yeah, 'the kids', and I'm almost sure this wasn't what you were expecting... but it's what I had planned so I hope it was a pleasant surprise?.....? And so, even more than before, I'm looking forward to your thoughts on this chapter XD


	7. the doctor will see you now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Magnus suggested he and Alec go on a date to the doctor's office, Alec just sorta went MIA. So Magnus went to get him.

‘Show me

all the parts

of you

that you

do not

love,

so I

know

where

to begin.’ 

Closing a box of photos with an exasperated sigh, Magnus checked the calendar and sighed again - if he couldn’t be happy then the least he could do was help the man he’ll eventually love or was already in love with.

And so, one Monday morning bright and early, Magnus strutted into Alec’s workplace with hair well done with maroon highlights, fingernails elegantly polished in glossy charcoal, his boots shined and his brown eyes adorned with smokey glitters and of course, he moved with an attitude that called all attention the second he entered the jewellery store with a smile so charming, that no diamond in the room compared to the sparkle he complemented the morning with.  

And just so, Magnus made his way to the main counter where two women were discussing some jewellery pieces— the way they looked reminded him of Alec’s prettiness.  

“A pleasant good day to you, ladies”, he greeted, with a gentle smile, taking in how the younger woman’s eyes twinkled with much curiosity, while the older, more mature lady gave him the suspicious glare, a silent scrutiny and that was all Magnus needed to know that he was right in front of Alec’s mother.

“And who might you be?” she asked, hardly trying to contain the disdain in her voice.

But Magnus wouldn’t let her get away with it. Somehow, he wanted to hurt this woman who had been hurting his Alexander, scaring him and making him a danger to himself. But at the same time, Magnus also knew it wasn’t his battle to fight – it was something Alec would have to do on his own – only Alec could get his mother to accept him by first accepting himself without apology and seeing himself a blessing rather than a sin – but that didn’t mean he couldn’t give Alec a head start.

And so he debated on whether to say boyfriend or simply, an acquaintance - and while boyfriend suited him more, he wanted to be considerate of Alec’s own insecurity and un-readiness that he was in truth ‘different’ and naturally so. But at the same time, acquaintance was too bland and quite an understatement so Magnus instead replied, “I’m Alexander’s brunch date”.

Both women looked at him wide-eyed, Alec’s mother looking about them as though Magnus had spoken a forbidden thing, like by uttering those words, he’d unleashed a curse, a great flood that would soon burst the walls and then rush down and sully them.

“I’ll go get him”, the younger woman with bright lips replied, a smile cheerful all around her features.

“Thank you, Isabelle”, Magnus smiled at her. And that recognition must have surprised her for her eyes gestured  _‘how’_  Magnus could’ve possibly known who she was, so Magnus smiled and said, “He loves his little sister”.

Isabelle smiled and disappeared behind the door, leaving Magnus with the brunt of sharp stares from the mother.

“And you must be, Maryse”, he approached the iceberg, a tiny yet genuine smile at the corner of his mouth.

“Mrs Lightwood to you, sir”, she replied.

“My apology”, Magnus offered, “I’m Magnus Bane. And it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Lightwood”.

Maryse was clearly the kind of woman who didn’t pretend and she made it clear than she was not swayed. She wanted him gone even more so when Alec came out of the office flustered at seeing Magnus looking dashingly fabulous like a five-star meal, he stuttered and stumbled, nearly losing his balance.

“Magnus”, he called out, his smile nervous and tight, so tight, he could barely hold it. “What brings you here?”

Magnus gave him the eye that told him he couldn’t talk his way out of this meeting, “We have a date, remember?”

And when all eyes landed on them, Alec grabbed Magnus’s hand and told him, “Come with me”, not daring to look behind him for he could feel the daggers from his mother's anger sticking him in his neck.

So as soon as they were behind closed door in the office, Alec spun around and asked, “What are you doing here?” But he wasn’t angry, if anything, he was more showing signs of surprise and worry.

“Because you keep ditching me”, Magnus told him, looking him frank in the face, “You’re two weeks late for our date”.

Alec swallowed, fidgeting in his well-tailored jacket, “Well I can’t be late for something I never agreed to, now can I? Plus, as you see this is a big company so I’m busy”.

Magnus shook his head, “You can’t run away from what’s to be, Alec. You know that”.

“I’m not running”

“You can’t prolong it forever, either”.

“I’m neither running nor prolonging, I’m just busy”.

“Yeah, you’re right”, Magnus answered, “You’re busy running and prolonging”.

Alec breathed in and put on a pleading smile, “Magnus, look at me, I’m healthy. There’s no need to see a doctor”.

Magnus rolled his eyes and sighed with a frown. “And I know you’re no fool to believe that”.

“Magnus come on, look good. I am healthy. I’m as fit as a fiddle”

“I am looking at you”, Magnus replied, circling Alec, checking him out, “And I do like what I see and would love to keep it as is, so let’s go make sure it stays that way”

“Magnus, listen to me", Alec advanced, even more determined, "I used a condom every time so yours truly is as clean as any virgin”.

“Great”, Magnus clapped his hands in cheer, “Then you have nothing to worry about. Now let’s go”.

“No”, Alec protested, his voice a flurry of fret and confusion. “I leave with you now, and then everything will be out in the open and I’ll have to—“

”What are you talking about? Alexander, where have you been looking? Everything is already in the open. So even if you shut up about it, even if you try to hide it and pretend it doesn't exist, it's already so much out there in the open... and so it's like, you can’t change the fact that the sun shines in the day and the moon lights the night. You are who you are and the only choice you have is to accept it”.

“Magnus, you don’t get it”, Alec answered, worry thick in his voice, “I’m already not enough. So if anything else goes wrong, I’ll be nothing. All that I’ve been doing to cope will have been for nought”.

It was then that Magnus stopped, swallowed and looked at Alec with eyes that scolded more than they pitied. “Listen to me, Alec—,

‘You alone

are enough.

You have

nothing to

prove to

anyone.'

Now, tell yourself that”.

“What?” Alec asked confused.

“I said, tell yourself what I just told you”.

And after fidgeting, looking over his shoulders checking to make sure no one was around, Alec told his jittery self,

"I alone

am enough.

I have

nothing to

prove to

anyone."

"Great”, Magnus replied, a supportive gleam in his voice and in his eyes, “And the first step to get you to actually believe it, is going for those tests. And when Alec sighed again, Magnus added, “Call it redemption or whatever you want but in truth, it will be a clean start and this time, you won’t be alone, Alexander. You’ll have me”.

But Alec seemed still unconvinced but it was clear that he was struggling to put away his way of thinking that he'd lived with all this time. Could he really, freely come out of his shell? “Magnus— “

"It will be OK, Alexander".

Fortunately,

And much to Alec's relief, Magnus not only accompanied him but also had himself tested.

Since then, two days had already passed and by _tomorrow_ , they’ll both know their fate.

“Why are you nervous?” Alec asked with a crooked troubled grin hitting and lining the game pieces on the table, “You said it yourself, you’re practically a virgin so surely you're clean”.

Magnus hummed in thought, “As in, I was never promiscuous but I’ve had my fair share of partners”, he replied, matching one of Alec’s game pieces.

They were at Magnus’s playing a game of dominoes.

“Like how many?”

“Enough to count on one hand”.

“Ratio?”

“2:2”

“And with me included?”

“3:2”.

“Women to men?”

“Since when did you grow a vagina?” Magnus laughed.

Alec laughed too but in truth, he was filled with anxiety because he actually thought he had everything figured out and now— “Humour me. In the next 7 hours, that ratio could fall back to 2:2”. 

The night faded into the wee hours of the morning when Alec finally gave up on falling asleep. Sighing, he turned on his side and distracted himself by watching the moon crawl along Magnus’s skin. He then shuffled closer, though still leaving enough space for him to clearly see Magnus’s face. Before meeting this man, Alec thought he had everything figured out. He would make do with his reality. He would make sacrifices. He would compromise. He would live a double-life. And he would force himself to be content— he would make himself believe that that much was enough, that the bare minimum of happiness he would scrape himself should be enough.

But then along came this man – along came Magnus sent to him like a gift from the moon delivered by the wind, telling him he could have it all and all he had to do was to believe that he can become the man he was meant to be. Brushing his thumb against Magnus’s nose, Alec smiled, using his fingertips to trace the entirety of Magnus’s face – although, Magnus was like a closed dusty storage room, Alec thought, a vacant well hidden room that no one visited nor did it allow anyone in except the occasional draught that seeped in from beneath doors and betwixt window crevices. Alec leaned in and kissed his eyes, once on both sides. He was looking forward to the day when he could return Magnus’s help.

And without sleep, the sun came up.

By 11a.m. Alec got the call to come in for his results.

By 12:01, he and Magnus were at the doctor’s office.

Alec vomited twice, at 12:15 and 12:35.

“Open yours”, he told Magnus, his voice a nervous wreck.

Magnus took him by the shoulders and said, “Let’s open them together”.

“No”, Alec shook his head, “The good news always goes before the bad news”.

“You don’t know that”.

“Magnus, please”.

Magnus gave in and so just the tearing of the envelope had Alec on edge - had him tapping his feet nonstop and out of rhythm while trying to read Magnus’s face. “So?”

Magnus very slowly replaced the result in the envelope. “Negative. All of them”.

“See?” Alec broke into a happy though nervous smile, “The good news always comes first”, he breathed in but there was still not enough air in the room to sustain him. He then passed his envelope to Magnus, “You open it”.

“Why should I?”

“Well, because it was your idea”.

“But it’s your test”.

Alec fidgeted around on his feet, worry swell in his eyes, “Suppose it’s positive?”

“Then we’ll deal with it”.

“We? Any sensible man would run”.

“You’re right. I am stupid”, Magnus replied as he tore the flap to the envelope. “Ready?”

Alec only nodded, barely even looking at Magnus.

“Alexander, let’s make a promise now before we see what's inside”.

Alec arched an eyebrow, very happy for the bizarre distraction... the prolonging, “A promise? Now? Under this circumstance?”

“Actually, I think the occasion makes it perfect timing”.  

“Okay, then what's this promise?”

“Let’s say the results are negative, then what? What will you do? What will you change?”

Alec hummed a millisecond before answering, “In that case, then what’s left of my ass will be all yours”.

They both laughed trying to quell the raging and nervous lub-DUB of their hearts. “Deal”, Magnus replied, knowing and accepting that once they unfolded that piece of paper with the result, it could either be destiny giving them another chance, or fate just being plain cruel. “Alexander, whatever happens, I’m not going anywhere”, he reaffirmed with a ginger smile on his lips, “Are you ready?”

“No”.

“Okay, here goes”.

“I said— “

And at that moment, even the wind quieted down to a mere whisper as Magnus carefully unfurled the paper with the result – Alec’s eyes followed Magnus’s own, holding his breath and feeling as though he was about to either pass out or vomit again when Magnus’s expression belay nothing of good news, and he could feel his intestines tying up from just watching Magnus still tracing the page up and down with his eyes alone.

Magnus then suddenly looked up at Alec and the fear he saw in Alec’s eyes made him gasp. “Oh, I’m sorry.  I just wanted to make sure”.

“Make sure of what?”

And without first replying, Magnus tossed the sheet away and wrapped Alec into a hug, “We’re being given a second chance, Alexander”, he beamed, pinning his lips to Alec’s mouth and kissing him, licking away the fear and anxiety and salty sweat.

“Wait, does this mean…?”

“Yes!”, Magnus kissed him again, “It means you might actually get that chance to fuck me to your heart’s content— Mr ALL Negative”.

Alec was sure he screamed, making the fourth time they kissed, a taste of relief mixed in with supple lips at the thought of sunset.

Magnus laughed so hard, his hands already in Alec’s pants as he looked Alec frank in the eyes and told him, “I’m going to rewrite every single time another man made you cum”.

“So you were jealous”, Alec smiled, a pleasant gesture so wide that he thought his jaws felt liberated from the tension that caged them just moments before. “Don't say things that make me want to immediately cum in your hands”.

Magnus smiled, leaned and whispered in a heartfelt voice, “Alexander, congratulations”. But then, in that same breath, he pushed Alec against the wall and grabbed his crotch, “And this is mine now”, he squeezed, his voice a tone of threatening intent, “Stick it in anyone else and you’ll find it hanging by the window in place of a wind-chime”.

Alec did laugh, but not without freeing his crotch from Magnus's hold and covering it in hard defence, “Sure you’re not related to a prince of Hell?”

“Who knows?” Magnus answered with a teasing grin, "Maybe I'm actually one", giggling as his hands crawled to also squeeze Alec's buttocks. “And don’t forget your promise; your ass also belongs to me and me only – In every way possible, you’re exclusively mine, Mr Lightwood Sir”.

And Alec laughed, being spurred by the hardness pressing against him from the excitement inside Magnus’s pants, “I see. And you’re clearly not impotent”.

“Doesn’t that make you happy?” Magnus lowered himself and kissed him again.

Alec laughed and wrapped his arms around Magnus tight— all around his waist and slid them to the back of Magnus’s neck, “Magnus…”, he called, his voice low and relieved and now determined.

“Yes?”

“Do you think love falls from the sky?”

Magnus looked at him confused but intrigued. “Maybe”, he answered, a quiet chuckle in his voice. “I mean, I love the rain and the snow sometimes. I also love the warmth from the sun and the colour of the moonshine”.

Alec hummed, his face finally fully relaxed as sleep finally started to fall on him with his face buried in Magnus’s neck, "— thank you”.

“For what?”

But  Alec’s reply came in strings of adorable snores.

.

And it would take hours— late in the night before Alec woke up to find Magnus looking through a box of photos.

“Already cheating on me?” Alec asked, trying not to sneak up on Magnus who was seemingly lost in what was clearly a private moment. But he was curious and somewhat amused at how startled Magnus was at his sudden appearance. “She’s beautiful”, Alec added— the expression he wore tried hard not to pressure Magnus for an immediate answer.

But when Magnus quickly shut the box without saying a word, clearly scampering to retreat to his old dusty storage room where no one or nothing— a solitary inner place where not even the wind or a streak of sunlight was allowed, Alec leaned against the doorpost and told him, “Okay, tough guy”, folding his arms in wait, “Let's start from the beginning”.

\---

Magnus x Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx for reading! 
> 
> quote#1: Ava
> 
> quote#2: Maya Angelou
> 
> Sorry for the scare but I felt it necessary... even though I knew some people wouldn't like it but realism of sort is important to me so Thank you lots for keeping up with this story! I look forward to reading your thoughts on this chapter too XD


	8. memories is another name for loneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Magnus said it was 27 years of story telling and Alec said he wasn't going anywhere, they really meant it. Behold the Magnus backstory.

‘You can’t

break

something

that’s already

broken

and sadden

someone

who is

already

sad.’

Because, what whore is there who wouldn’t be suspicious after being bought for a night of shogi instead of his lewd ass?

What man would open up his expensive condo to a stranger after midnight then left him sleeping in fluffy blankets come next morning?

Just think about it, what man would simply accept that the love of his life was a whore hobbyist in search of redemption?

Really now, what man would still promise his life to someone he knew could be infected with all sorts of STDs?

Why did Magnus never look sad yet never truly happy?

Why did he always look in control yet at the same time, he was like those aimless snow flurries that silently fall under lamp posts at night?

In his own little bubble, without murmur, Magnus was silently falling apart.

“Even cheaters have a closer relationship with this woman than I do”, Magnus answered, standing in front of the box as though that would be enough to erase Alec’s memory of seeing what he saw.

But Alec knew more than anyone what it felt like getting exposed for the parts of himself he found ugly. But he’d promised Magnus this day – a day when he’d give him two strong shoulders and two keen ears and the bonus was, Magnus already had most of his heart. “Who is she?”

“My mother”, Magnus replied with a small shrug, trying too hard to be nonchalant and he knew better than to meet Alec’s eyes. 

 “Well, I can see where you got your good looks”, Alec answered, and he really wasn’t going anywhere for he sat on the sofa with crossed legs before saying, “And the beginning can be wherever you feel the most comfortable to start”.

Magnus inhaled, a deep pull of air released with a sort of heaviness that seemed to have shifted the very atmosphere. Alec trusted him with his burden so he too, must trust Alec. “She went missing when I was eight but it wasn’t until my tenth birthday that I truly accepted that I was abandoned, left behind to fend for myself”, he sighed, though his eyes still won’t meet Alec’s own, his own arms wrapped around him in a self hug.

Alec swallowed the anticipation building between them. He then stepped closer and stood directly in front of Magnus forcing him to look up and meet him. “But you were just a child. How did you manage?”

Magnus shrugged again, slightly turning so that Alec wouldn’t be directly facing him then said, “Or maybe it was because I was a helpless child that I was left behind”.

Alec was biting his own lips, his attention still focussed on Magnus’s face, trying to read all the emotions Magnus struggled to display. “And your father?”

It was only then that Magnus’s true feeling came out like an arrow shot, “Father, huh?” he mimed, a grimace slipped through his usual composure. “Something like that was so far far-away that I actually thought I fell from the sky or that I was like those fruits that fall from trees. But then my uncle came to get me —“ he paused, and it was clear he was contemplating just how much further should he crack the door to his storage room of emotions he’d locked up.

Alec waited, his eyes growing cloudy with what he believed were crumbs of Magnus’s horror story. But still, silently he waited for Magnus to gather the encourage he needed to talk about himself – to open that room where not even a streak of the sun or the moon was allowed to go.  

Magnus walked away and headed for the cabinet, “At first...”, he started, taking out a gin glass, “At first I thought my mother had just gone to the shop. I remember waking up to my breakfast covered on the table. I remember it well because I was happy when I saw she’d also left some martabak. She knew I loved it but she had never given me for breakfast. But as a child, you don’t think anything strange of this – the only thing you’d feel was happiness – you got your favourite food and so clearly, your mother loves you”.

He then paused, opened the gin bottle and took a long sniff when the strong smell hit his nose— and just so, he stood and stared into the bottle. But Alec could tell that Magnus’s mind was far away. “But the morning got later and she still didn’t return home. Naturally, I just figured that perhaps on her way back she might’ve stopped by somewhere to pray.

Then lunchtime came and she was still a no-show. But again I told myself that maybe she met some friends on the way back. And so I waited and waited. I watched the sun as it reached the highest tip in the sky and I watched it until it slowly started to drift away. But even so I thought that any second she’d most definitely be back.

Then the sun went away even before night fully came.

But the silly child I was, still thought that maybe it was too dark so she got lost. And so I grabbed a flashlight, deciding I would go find her – that I would go look for her and make our way home— and that was when - ”, he paused, gathering his thoughts, pouring some gin in his glass and watched it swirl, “I’ll never forget the moon I saw that night, Alexander. There in this vast blackness of the sky, was hoisted a moon that was so big and round and silver and was clearly abandoned by the stars and the sun”. 

Alec inhaled. Normally, a full moon was beautiful but just like the rain, depending on when it falls, it can be beautiful or lonely. And he was sure that back then, Magnus felt as though he was left alone in the entire world with the shine from the moon projecting on him like a spotlight on stage – him, the centre of a tragic theatre.

With his hands clenching at his helplessness, Alec stayed quiet. But really, there was nothing he could’ve said or done so he kept his eyes on Magnus. Magnus took a sip of his gin, looking back into his glass. “It wasn’t until the next day, after crying myself to sleep, that I woke up to my uncle nudging my shoulder — said he found a note slipped under his door when he got home in the morning”.

Alec’s eyes widened, and for a second he’d hoped Magnus’s mother had relayed a good reason for leaving him behind but his heart soon fell back down when Magnus added, “ _Take care of buah hatiku.”_ Was all it read,  _“Buah hatiku_ means _fruit of my heart_ ”, he smiled a swell of bitterness. “Isn’t that ironic? She abandoned me and yet—“ he sipped again, “Anyhow, the house we lived in wasn’t ours so uncle took me in and together, we lived in a tiny apartment in a complex for the poor”.

And the more Alec heard, the more speechless he became. He started to feel as though his strong shoulders and keen ears were no longer enough to ease Magnus’s pain. Suddenly, the unsavoury stories he’d heard at the orphanage he volunteered at rocked him, had his heart beating with ache knowing that the life of a child could hit rock bottom even before they’re given a chance at living. Clearing his throat, he hesitantly asked, “Did he abuse you in anyway?”

And for the first time since they’d started that unpleasant trip down memory lane, Magnus smiled as he answered, “Quite the contrary. As I said, he was the closest I’ve had to a father. As a matter of fact, he was my saviour. He’d a talent for street dancing, it didn’t pay much but he would do extra jobs to make sure I still went to school. Later on, as time went on he took me in and showed me his trade and that’s how we survived”, Magnus paused and looked at Alec with a smirk, “But looking around you now, you wouldn’t have thought that, would you?”

Alec returned the smile, “I thought you were some rich kid. The son of a Politician or had prominent doctors for parents”. 

 Magnus laughed, his second genuine flare of his lips that evening. “We didn’t have money but we felt rich in each other’s company”, he said, a smile of nostalgia lingered on him, “Every day was hard work but every day was fun”.

“Sounds like it”, Alec smiled again, “So that’s where you got your knack for dancing and theatre”.

“That’s right. That’s where it all started”.

Alec exhaled a long breath of relief, “So you did get a silver lining”.

“I did”, Magnus hummed, “Until the clouds became too dark,” he paused, his eyes back in his drink again, “As if being an unwanted child wasn’t enough, by fifteen, instead of singing and dancing in the streets, I was singing and crying at his funeral”, and when Alec’s eyes widened in horror, begging the question, Magnus answered, “We went to bed but he never woke up. And that was when I knew I was truly a bad omen”.

And that was when Alec walked to him, took the gin from his hand and held them instead, “Bad omen it would’ve been if I hadn’t met you”, he assured, rubbing Magnus’s knuckles, “Since I’ve met you, only good things have been happening to me. As a matter of fact, you’re that wind that keeps blowing away my dark clouds. It’s because of you why I can now see myself truly happy. So don’t ever think you’re anything less than the stars in your eyes that dazzles the world”.

Magnus listened and smiled into Alec’s palm that was by then caressing his face. But they both knew that years of belief didn’t just rewrite itself overnight after some sweet words. Alec smiled at him again, “We can stop here if you like”, he said, “We can keep knowing each other in doses”.

“Don’t tell me your shoulders are already heavy with my burden?” Magnus joked. But truth be told, he was just afraid that if he didn’t get it all off his chest there and then, then all that effort he made opening that storage room might be lost and the next time, opening it would’ve been even harder. “Back then, orphanages were terrible”, he continued, “They were filled with sadness and unkindness.  The only solitude orphans had was the fact they were all the same. So I decided to stay at uncle’s apartment alone, selling fruits that were in season, washed cars and did the occasional street dancing.

It wasn’t until I was sixteen that a ship came, a cruise docked at the harbour at sunset, and that was when I immediately knew that both literally and figuratively, that that ship would take me away and set me free – I even felt as though it would one day take me to where my mother was – thinking that maybe if she saw me grown and able and independent – maybe if I became someone important she would come for me and take me back and then she would stay with me this time – this time, she would love me enough to stay. Even after everything, I still wanted to grab the sun and cage the moon and wrap them both in pretty papers and give them to her”.

And Alec sighed. “Do I need you to repeat those lines you had me say yesterday— those ones about being self-adequate?” But at the same time, Alec thought that he and Magnus were like the moon and the sun; they were so alike yet so different because while both their mothers abandoned them, Magnus still wanted to make peace with his while Alec was on the verge of giving up his. 

But he also supposed that,

‘Each

unhappy

family

is unhappy

in

its 

own

way.’

“So you had enough money saved up to go on a cruise?”

“Of course not”, Magnus replied, refilling his glass. “But I was old enough to find work cleaning the pools and the gym and run the karaoke bar and when they had culture nights, I would do the kecak dance. I did anything and everything once I knew I could continue to go somewhere far… somewhere so far that not even the moon could reach me because it and I, we’re no good for each other – that silver light and I only know sadness and loneliness - we know each other's secret and it's embarassing”.

Alec nodded in thought, “So you chose New York?”

“No. New York chose me”, Magnus smirked. “That evening when I arrived at that port in Manhattan, it was love at first sight – the way how, the sun cloaked the world like jewelled garments unrobed from heaven – all that pearly yellow and orange flare coated and dazzled the entire city. I got off that ship and never looked back”.

Alec smiled, “I’ve never seen New York as anything but dirty and full of life”.

“Sounds to me like you’re also in love”.

“I suppose I have an affinity to fall in love with broken things”, Alec smiled back, looking through the box of photos Magnus had finally handed him. “Do you ever think to look for her one day?”

“How do you think I got those photos?” Magnus answered, “I hired a private detective. He has been keeping track of her for years now”.

Alec was yet again surprised. “Oh, that’s good…?” checking Magnus’s reaction. But when Magnus didn’t show any sign of discomfort, he added, “And how long have you known her whereabouts?”

Magnus made a thinking sound, “Since I started working in a theatre company”.

Alec nodded, deliberating if to proceed with his next question. “And you never tried meeting her?”

“I did— eventually”, he answered, checking the time then putting his drinking glass in the kitchen sink. “I’m actually going to see her now. Want to come?”

Alec cocked his head confused, “Oh, so you two are on speaking terms”.

“Well, not exactly”, Magnus grabbed his coat. “To her, I’m only Magnus— the well-kempt handsome young man who regularly visits her”.

Alec nodded, slowly following. After all, it’s been years so it would be difficult for anyone to recognise a child who’d naturally fully grown into a man. “So where is she now?”

“A nursing home in Manhattan”, Magnus casually replied, checking for his wallet and his phone, “Her dementia is so bad and it’s been so long since she last saw me as a child... so she’ll definitely never recognise me as her  _buah hatiku_ ”. 

It felt truly tragic.

And when he looked up and saw Alec’s worried face, he knowingly smiled, “I know what you’re thinking— why do I spend all this money looking after a women who abandoned me, a women who finally got what she wished? - to in every way possible forget about me. And the answer is simple, Alexander, she’s my mother”.

And while Alec stood still watching him, his mind was a knotting mess;

     ‘How did you know

      that you were meant

      to be a healer?’

He wanted to ask.

But he then smiled, knowing that Magnus would most likely have answered,

      ‘Because I kept

      falling in love

      with broken people.’

Truly,

Perhaps Magnus was never broken.

Perhaps he was always just sad— sad and lonely and trapped in his own memories.

After all, memories in bunches is just another word for loneliness.

Or perhaps,

It’s because it's far too lonely why we call them, memories.

“Now come on”, Magnus told Alec leading the way, “One day I’ll tell you all about how I upgraded from rags to riches”, he chuckled as though the memory of it was something funny. “For starters”, he said closing the door behind them, “I married Catarina”.

\---

Magnus x Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx for reading!
> 
> quote #1: Sorry but only have the initials, t.h.
> 
> quote #2: Leo Tolstoy
> 
> quote #3: Kawbena Foli
> 
> And *phew* that was one helluva storytelling that changed a million times because I didn't want to make it too sad and dramatic but I guess I failed on that part. Also, don't be hasty and come at me about that Catarina marriage thing. I've got this. So until then, I really do look forward to reading your thoughts on this chapter XD


	9. let's not try to figure out everything at once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we pick up from the last chapter; Magnus's marriage to Catarina.
> 
> Also, when it comes on to his kids, Alec decided to make a rather bigger effort to support them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so the timeline in the first half of this chapter is a bit tricky; it starts in the 'present' then goes in flashback to Magnus explaining his marriage to Catarina then subtly works its way back to the 'present'.

‘You’re

always

one

decision

away

from

a

totally

different

life.’

“You smell nice”, Magnus inhaled, rolling over into Alec’s side.

Alec opened his arms and let him in, “I smell like you”, he whispered, smiling into the softness of Magnus’s unstyled hair.

“Well yes. I do smell nice”, Magnus laughed throwing his foot between Alec’s legs.

Apparently,

In lieu of the laundry detergent, Catarina brewed him some sandalwood shampoo.

“Give my thanks to Catarina for me”, Alec poked his nose around Magnus’s hair.

Magnus groaned in comfort and snuggled even closer – so close that it would make anyone wonder what he used to do before Alec came. “You can tell her yourself when you meet her”.

As it turned out,

Rather than Magnus marrying Catarina, it would be more accurate to say that it was Catarina who married him.

Alec inhaled and nodded with a soft hum, “I’m looking forward to it”.

“She’s the best. Instant love”.

“I have no doubt”, Alec smiled.

To cut a long story short, Magnus and Catarina both owed each other a sort of life or death favour.

How?

Well, Magnus summed up everything for Alec on their way to the nursing home. He only did a summary because Alec was freaking out.

“Magnus, I feel like my heart is about to jump through my mouth and leap in front of a bus if I you don’t hurry and tell me your current marital status”.

Magnus did laugh. “But I did tell you before, Alexander. I told you that I am single so there’s no way I could still be married”.

At that utterance, Alec remembered taking a huge chunk of air that left him coughing when he finally breathed, “Don’t scare me like that”.

Watching him, Magnus was actually smiling. It was like, somehow, seeing Alec that frantic over him made his heart race, “So what? You can have twenty kids running around an orphanage but I can’t have a wife done as a favour?”

For as it were,

When Magnus decided to ditch the cruise ship and run off in New York with his head in the clouds, he was nothing more than an illegal alien – and also a minor at that.

Luckily, he had saved most of his meagre pay from working on the cruise ship but only enough to have served him for a few days of cheap food and shabby accommodation. Fortunately— or unfortunately, that was something he was used to so it didn’t strain him too much. However, Magnus had always been smart and ambitious and so he knew things couldn’t continue as it was – he knew he had to change his situation and to do that, he knew he had to take chances.

And so, the first chance Magnus took was to lie about his age to land himself a work as a bartender for a few hours a night. Day time he got himself a few more hours working as a gas station attendant. But even back then New York was still New York, it was expensive and so even with all the work he did, he could only afford one meal a day.

 _But the sky was blue and the sun was shining and he was still alive –_  Magnus told himself.

He had lots of street-smarts but he also did well those few years he’d spent in school back in Indonesia. He read whatever he could and so grew to know a lot and wanted to know a lot more – but he was still an illegal alien without even basic health insurance.

“For the first few months I lived in shelters”, he contemplatively told Alec, “That’s how I met Catarina. She was on her way home from her own part-time job.  But that in itself wasn’t a pleasant meeting. I was on my way back from one of my shifts when I heard screaming and saw shadows of people struggling. Knowing what would happen if I ever got caught in anything, I almost ignored it but it just didn’t feel right and by the time I turned the corner she was being held down and most likely about to be raped”.

Alec grimaced with disgust. “I hope you kicked the shit out of him”.

“No, I didn’t. I held him down and let her kick the shit out of him”.

“That’s even better but still rags to―“

“Let me finish, Mr Impatient”, Magnus lightly, almost jokingly reprimanded, “That was just the start of our friendship. But then my eighteenth birthday came and things got tricky. I was no longer  _protected_  under the status of minor and suddenly, rather than just surviving, I needed to actually start living. I saw the opportunities out there but getting the chance to even use them was such a distant dream and it was starting to weigh on me—

“Then on Catarina’s eighteenth birthday she said, I have a present for you”.

“On your birthday?” I asked amused, thinking she’d some prank up her sleeve.

But the genuine way she was smiling happily made it hard to tell, “Before, I would’ve needed my parents’ permission and things might’ve gotten messy, but now I’m an adult woman who wants to help her also now adult friend who took a risk and saved her”.

Magnus raised an eyebrow, “You’re going in circles and knots, Cat”.

And at this part, Alec watched Magnus laugh at his own memory and while a part of Alec hated that he didn’t know the Magnus back then, the Magnus in front of him was irreplaceable— irreplaceable and beautiful with the way the sun was sneaking through the half open car window and lightening the brown in his eyes.

“And the next thing I knew”, he said, “She and I were at the City Clerk’s Office saying vows”.

“Well that escalated quickly”, Alec took a deep breath and a chuckle. But at the same time, he was in see and wonder at how the universe did all sorts of things to get Magnus to him. 

Magnus was still in laughter, “It really did but even faster was how quickly I got my papers sorted out. When Cat’s parents found out what she’d done, to keep her out of trouble, they just had to play along and after a few years, it was no more alien life for me”, he smiled.

And as Alec listened, it all sounded so surreal. Exactly what was Magnus made of? Faith? Optimism? Stardust? Apples? Strawberries? Selflessness?

Or perhaps a shard of star that fell from the sky when no one was looking. 

And Alec smiled, quietly thinking that perhaps Magnus really did charm the universe and everything in it.

“But that still doesn’t explain your leap from rags to riches”.

“Of course not. It’s because I’m smart”, Magnus paused with a smirk waiting for Alec to react— Alec did smile with a roll of his eyes— “I applied for scholarships which of course, I got and worked my way to the top carrying on my uncle’s legacy in dance and theatre”.

“Now, that's hot", Alec smiled, "And did you ever try Broadway? I think that flamboyancy would’ve suited you”.

“Thank you”, Magnus returned the gesture, feeling accomplished though it was nothing he didn’t already know. But it felt all the more true when Alec complimented him. “Been there, done that. My first internship was for one of those Broadway Musical companies which was fun and everything I wished my uncle could’ve seen, but being in the spotlight isn’t the life I wanted and besides, my life as it was, was enough drama. So I made my money, made my connections and because I’m sma—“

“Smart”, Alec finished for him.

“Yes, exactly”, Magnus laughed looking at Alec who was also smiling, “Because I’m smart and talented — don’t forget talented, I got an offer to lecture at the university. And that way, I got the time and the money I needed to do what I really wanted”. 

“Which was?”

“To search for my mother”.

Alec nodded.

Really,

Maybe Magnus was truly made up of peaches, sweet lemonade and strawberries.

Or maybe it was life that pressured him to choose what to do with the sour lemons it gave to him.

But being Magnus, he—

“You turned out to be some refreshingly good lemonade, Magnus Bane”.

Magnus laughed, looking at Alec confused, “Is that your way of saying you’re hungry?”

“On the contrary”, Alec relaxed into the car seat looking out the window with the wind brushing against his face and recently, he found himself thinking strangely— wondering what if the wind could talk? What stories about Magnus would he ask to be told? “And then you two divorced?”

“Yep”, Magnus nodded, “As soon as the official papers came in, we divorced”, he glanced over at Alec, “And I know what you’re thinking – I mean, we were young and two good lookers but I swear, the closest Cat I got was holding hands that day at the City Clerk. After all, we’d to play the part. And of course, before your big strong shoulders, Cat was the only person I had. But then she married that bastard, Ragnor”.

Alec couldn’t hide that Magnus read him so well and tried to control the flush on his cheeks by redirecting the conversation, “What? You have some vendetta against the guy?”

“Naw. He’s a good guy and that’s why he pisses me off. I can hardly get any time with Cat these days. All he does is hog her company”. 

“Oh look at you and your cute pout”, Alec laughed at him, “But never mind. You have me to hug all you want”.

And that was the story of rags to riches. 

Alec wasn’t sure when he’d fallen asleep but when he woke up, he found Magnus still clinging to him tightly. The sun wasn’t yet up but the moonlight still lingered on Magnus’s skin. Alec couldn’t explain it but at those times he always felt as though the moon had found peace while keeping watch over a sleeping Magnus— perhaps it was the way the moon tended to pour its light on him and watched him dream and gave him enough so that he could escape his nightmares.

Alec won’t ever forget the stars he saw in Magnus’s eyes that night and he won’t forget the way the moon adorned Magnus’s skin all the time— Alec really felt as though the universe was chasing Magnus - and so was he.

But Alec wanted to replace them and become Magnus’s support.

Which was why;

When Magnus woke up a few hours later, he walked into the living room and asked, “What are you doing?”

“Making sure my dick doesn’t end up swinging from the window in place of a wind chime”, Alec answered, a red ink pen in his hand.

Magnus did smile, “I’m happy that you’re taking preventative measures but, the newspaper?”

“Well…”, Alec hummed still deep in thought making another circle on the page, “If I no longer whore then I’ll need to find other means to support my kids and since my savings won’t be enough, I’ll need to find another job”.

And at just hearing that, the smile Magnus wore was filled with pride and happiness. “But don’t you think that’s a bit old school? Everyone uses the internet to find jobs these days”.

“Exactly. So while everyone is there, I’ll grab these lonely jobs that no one wants or may never see”.

Magnus was really feeling proud watching Alec honestly trying to change his situation— Alec, changing lanes and going in a direction in life he’d never travelled or ever thought he would. Yet, even moving forward in the unknown, all Alec seemed to have cared about was providing for the kids at the orphanage and the well-being of his penis.

Quietly Magnus sat beside him and watched him flip pages and circled profusely and all Magnus wanted to do was to desperately kiss Alec’s forehead crinkles, “Alexander…”, he called, watching him closely, “You don’t still feel that giving to the orphanage is a way of repenting, right?”

“No”, Alec looked up at him, his eyes frank and steady. “It’s just that I’ve really grown attached to the duty of it. Plus charity makes a decent man”.

Magnus nodded, he seemed pleased, then leaning over and plopping his head on Alec’s shoulder, “You’ll make a fine daddy someday”, rubbing his cheek against Alec.

“Yes, I want magical babies”, Alec laughed.  

“True…”, Magnus joined him, rolling over on his back, his head now comfy in Alec’s lap, “Though since the first time I stopped by the orphanage, I think I’ve fallen in love with a tiny sweetpea”.

Alec smiled, not needing a description to know who Magnus was talking about, “She’s cute, isn’t she?” he replied, tossing the newspaper to the side and was by then weaving his fingers through Magnus’s hair. “I just wish I could do something to raise awareness about the orphanage and get new donors or assistance in any form”.

Magnus hummed, his voice a blend of comfort and deep thought as Alec continued to massage his head, “Then why not have a party? A fundraiser”, he suggested.

Alec actually froze. He really hadn’t thought about that but the glitters in his eyes didn’t stay for long, “But I don’t have anywhere to hold a party”.

Magnus made a thinking sound, “Then why not have it here?”

Alec’s eyes grew wide and so did his cheeks as they rose into an elated grin. “Your heart is really too pretty”, he told Magnus, brushing his thumb against Magnus’s nose.

At the tease, Magnus playfully bit after Alec’s finger, “But you don’t seem convinced”. 

“Do you really think I would be able to pull off a party alone?”

“You won’t be alone”, Magnus told him, eyebrows quirked, turning on his side and snuggling into the warmth of Alec’s belly, “Or am I invisible?”

Alec giggled as he felt the space around his heart getting warm and feel the space in his chest getting floaty. “And when they ask where I’m having this fundraiser, what do I say? How do I explain?”

“But whatever do you mean?”, Magnus asked, as he rolled over on his back again to look up at Alec, “You tell them the truth”, he replied with a smile pretty on his lips, “You tell them you’re having it at your boyfriend’s place. Besides, I’m way too gorgeous to hide, wouldn’t you agree?”

And Alec felt like his heart suddenly grew wings and started to soar. So he leaned over and replied, “Say any more and I swear; one day somewhere on an altar, I’m going to grab you by your lapel and I’m going to kiss you on the mouth and I’m going to kiss you so hard that you’ll need a breathing bag by the time I’m done”.

Magnus was merry as he eased himself on his elbows and reached to brush his lips against Alec’s own, “I’ll take my chances”, he answered.

Alec wrapped Magnus whole – the whole chunk of him in a tight hug because really, “Why’s your heart so sexy?”

And Magnus laughed out loud— all morning, that was all he did, laughing and learning to be happy and Alec wanted to love this man to death.  

“By the way, that time you got hard, was that a fluke?” Alec asked.

“Well that escalated quickly”, Magnus snickered, turning on his side. “Is that what sexual frustration sounds like?”

Alec shivered as Magnus rubbed him in the front of his house shorts, “I vote you take responsibility”.

So Magnus got on his knees and fixed himself betwixt Alec’s legs, “I wonder what your cum tastes like, Mr Lightwood?”

Alec moaned and bucked his hip, impatient and weak to the flicking motion of Magnus’s tongue against him. “Why don't you hurry and tell me?"

Magnus chuckled and swallowed Alec whole and in the same breath the wind in the curtain turned around and blushed.

Really,

The things the wind has seen of Magnus—;

Alec,

desperately wanted to know.

\---

Magnus x Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx for reading!
> 
> quote: Jen Atkin
> 
> So yeah, Catarina was purely logistics so the reveal might not have been as dramatic as you'd hoped/imagined but yeah, bffs work that way XD
> 
> This chapter was a lot lighter than the previous ones, but even so, Thank you for staying with me and I'm really looking forward to reading your thoughts on this chapter too XD


	10. i'm going to kill all the crows and sleep in with my lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is getting jitters about the fundraiser party. He also made another big decision about him and Magnus.

‘Because

of

you

I can

feel myself

slowly

but

surely

becoming

the me I

have always

dreamed

of

being’. 

When July came, it was pretty wearing floral and waltzing on tiptoes in the rain.

The July wind had its mood too – sometimes, a forceful assault that nagged curtains and forced its way through and at other times, it calmed to a mere tickle, a cool caress before it went its own sweet way.

And while the heat from the sun was an unpleasant one, the sky was painted blue and lit by yellow sunshine. And so, no one could be angry at the fairness those days gave.

And when the nights came, 

Bit by bit,

Those July nights filled themselves with romance.

Nights spent on the sofa by the window served with French kisses and red wine – a quiet time solely punctuated by the rhythmic sound of their lips touching and the changing tempo of their breathing and when Alec pressed his ears against Magnus’s chest, the LUB-dub pitter patter sent Alec on a raft gently drifting out to a happy place.

And then, more often than not when half the night was done and had fallen into sleep, Alec pulled the curtains back and watched the moon slowly sneak in and dye Magnus in its silver.

One night, Magnus turned and noticed Alec lost in thoughts looking outside in the dark.

“Are you OK?" He asked, his voice low from sleepiness.

Alec nodded and pressed his forehead against the temple of Magnus’s head. “Late night musing”, he said. 

“Nothing too worrying, I hope”.

Alec inhaled and damped a kiss to tip of Magnus’s nose. “I’ve had the moon tell me stories of when it met you.”

“Oh yeah?” Magnus smiled, turning on his side, “And what did she say?”

“Oh, so the moon is a she? I was thinking, hermaphrodite”.

Magnus mused in thought for a bit. “Could be. I’ve never thought about it”.

Alec chuckled, “I don’t think normal people think these things, Magnus”.

“True but isn’t this the quality conversation to expect at 3 a.m.?”

“You have a point”, Alec inhaled again and hugged him more.  

 “So what did she say? The moon”.

“Oh, so we’re still having this weird talk”, Alec laughed.

“Well, maybe if you talk about whatever is on your mind then you’ll be able to fall asleep”.

Alec inhaled again, harder this time and ran his fingers along Magnus’s skin, stroking his arm. “You remember that time I asked if you if you think love falls from the sky and you said, yes… that you love the moonshine”.

“Maybe…", Magnus replied, amused with eyes filled with flares that sparkle, “I said maybe it does fall and that only sometimes, I like the moonshine”.

“So in other words, you are in love with the moon”.

“And exactly how did you get to that conclusion?" Magnus furrowed his eyebrows, "I mean, I don’t hate it but that doesn’t mean I am in love with it”.

“So you say but I bet before I came you would draw your curtains open and watch the sky, waiting for the moon to drop just where your eyes could meet because that’s how misery works – it likes company”.

Magnus fumbled to find words to refute but in the end could only murmur, “But I’m not half as miserable anymore”.

Alec hummed, “Meaning you’re still miserable”.

“But isn’t that normal?" Magnus tilted his head back to look at Alec, "A little unhappiness is what makes us human, isn't that how it is?”

“True…”, Alec slowly nodded, groaned and then added, “But that doesn’t stop me from wishing to polish all the happiness in the world and hand them over to you”.

And Magnus smiled, “I guess that makes you a true jeweller”, he replied, "But I’m not that greedy so be sure to take some for yourself and maybe even give some to your midnight muse buddy”.

Alec smiled and buried his face in Magnus’s neck. “Maybe I really will”.

Alec's smile was hearty but his heart was heavy. After all, his insecurity still lingered and nagged at him. His incompetence and his disappointment in the eyes of his family weighed on him because truth be told, if he failed then might as well he’d never attempted any of this in the first place because,

‘Unlike

the sun,

no one

notices

the moon

unless

it’s full.’

And that was probably why Alec was freaking out and having sleepless nights.

He tossed. He turned. He sighed. He was always this restless and sleepless whenever he’d a big day coming up. And although Magnus had flowered him about having party planning skill in his DNA and assured him that he was about to awaken his sixth sense superpower with hosting the best fundraiser ever, Alec just couldn’t relax – fidgeting with his cuffs and his bow tie and the uncharacteristic shots of gin he took from Magnus’s liquor cabinet.

“Alexander, if you don’t go bald from nervousness then I will go bald from watching you”.

Alec had stopped pacing the floor and looked at Magnus with eyes that were big with worry, “Maybe it’s too fast, Magnus”, his voice came out in stutters, "Maybe I jumped the gun and should’ve done something simpler like a car wash or renting a karaoke machine and run it at a corner road or something. Or how about a food truck – surely us combined, the cooking can’t be that bad”.

“Right…”, Magnus scratched his chin then wiped his thumb across his lower lip, his forehead crinkled with concern. “You’re talking nonsense but at least you’re still adorable. With me by your side, today also you'll prove your worth to yourself”. He knew Alec was feeling jittery about the whole thing but he didn’t think it was this bad.

“Magnus, I—

“Too late— the doorbell just rang”.

Because

‘Sometimes,

waiting

until

you’re ready

might mean

waiting

until

there's

no time

remaining.’

And if there was one thing Magnus had learnt about Alec it was that sometimes, he needed a little push.

“Catarina, finally I get to see you”, Magnus busted out into a laugh while in the same breath dashed Ragnor a threatening glare. But it wasn’t long before they both busted out in laughter too and shook hands, “And this is Alexander Lightwood”.

Alec straightened his shoulders and smiled as he took Catarina’s hand, “the sandalwood shampoo smells heavenly. I’m really happy I can finally thank you in person”.

Catarina was all smiles, “Well aren’t you charming?” she replied, seeming impressed.

“I did well, didn’t I?” Magnus smiled, a fill of pride in his eyes.

“Yes you did. You better hold on to him tight”.

“I intend to”, Magnus bounced against Alec’s shoulders, “I won’t even let him go to the shower room alone”.

Catarina laughed and Alec blushed but strangely, he’d started to relax.

One by one and pair by pair the people came and every time the doorbell rang, Magnus was by his side and by the time everyone had arrived chatting and drinking and admiring Magnus’s interior design, the unease in Alec’s chest slowly dissipated and by the time Isabelle and her husband arrived, Alec was ready to boast how much he was practically born with the talent of throwing the best parties. 

Magnus overheard him and laughed, “It’s nice to see you again, Isabelle”.

“Thanks for having me”, Isabelle smiled like the pleasantness of a rosy flower in bloom, “It’s so good of you and Alec to have adopted an orphanage”.

“Well, I hope one day we can but this is Alec’s project and I’m just happy to support him as much as I can so I’m counting on everyone here tonight to help him out”.

“You already have my pledge”, she took Alec’s hand and smiled, “Look at you”, she said, “Happiness looks good on you”.

Happiness,

Did Alec consider himself happy?

Or was he just grateful for a second chance to redo things?

The destination had remained the same but Alec changed route with the fundraiser being more of a social event with vinyl music and light conversations rather than an actual party.  It was more of a networking scheme of making connections and getting to know who did what and with Catarina, Alec and Magnus already familiar with the orphanage, it was easy for them to connect everyone’s ideas and possible contribution.

Isabelle offered to run a joint craft workshop with Catarina making beaded jewellry and natural body products while Ragnor proposed pledging a percentage of all arts and artefacts bidding to help with the maintenance of the orphanage. 

There were people from musical theatres too who were more than happy to know Magnus was still doing theatre and wanted him to come back.

“Not really”, he answered Clary, a member of the university art club but who used to help with costume designs. “I only filled in once for Catarina”, and when she gave him the disbelieving look, he added, “OK fine. I go twice a month when I have time”.

“This is actually good newspaper material”, Luke chimed in, scribbling in his notebook. “Hey Magnus, you don’t mind if I run a story, do you?”

“Why else would I have invited you?”

Luke arched an eyebrow carried with his signature smirk like he’s in on a secret that not even Magnus knew about, “If this wasn’t for a good cause, I would charge you”.

Magnus laughed, “Do your best to cover my boyfriend’s fundraiser, Mr. Editor In Chief”, Magnus patted him on the shoulder, his laugh soon dropped when a pair of unpleasant eyes met his. “Lorenzo, I don’t recall inviting you”.

“Don’t worry. I invited myself”, he answered, stepping past Magnus and was more interested in the décor and artefacts Magnus had collected than he was in the actual party.

“Know him?” Alec asked, walking up to Magnus.

“Unfortunately”, Magnus answered, his mood more on the streak of sarcasm than being mad, “We worked at the same drama theatre for a short while”.

“I shouldn’t judge on a first meeting but he doesn’t seem like a very likable guy”, Alec followed Lorenzo with his eyes.

“Annoying as hell is what he is”, Magnus replied, “So much so that sometimes I like to imagine sarcastic ways to kill him”.

Alec laughed, “And as screwed up as that sounds, I understand your feeling. Here comes my nemesis – Raj”, Alec greeted, “Did I missend you an invitation?”  

“Of course, not”, Raj replied, “I’m here to gravel in your failure”.

Well,

A few weeks later when July decided it had had enough, August came and brought with it unexpected news that had Alec’s heart swelling with so much happiness he was almost sure he would collapse.

Apparently, thanks to Luke’s wholesome article filled with Alec’s charity work - details Magnus didn’t even tell him, made Alec the receiver of the Corporate Engagement Award of Excellence for his efforts and merit of businesses and voluntary service – a feat made possible thanks to the testimonials taken from the nuns and the children at the orphanage.

Dropped on his knees in awe, Alec asked, “I wonder if mother knows? She wasn’t aware of my involvement in charity and they even used the company’s name. She might be really upset about this – they always made it clear not to get the company involved in anything that had to do with me. Magnus I―“

“Need to give yourself some credit and stop worrying about things you can’t control… instead, you did it, Alec – you got the recognition you needed and deserve. Isn’t that enough? You more than proved your worth to be more than a pretty face – you challenged your insecurities and you got what’s perhaps the greatest achievement ever and even though you have no right feeling guilty about who you are, this is just the start but at least now you know you’re worth more than all the diamonds in your parents’ store – and that you’re a pure soul trying to make this right in a proper way and that now you don’t have to worry because I’ll be here to hang your dick in the window and let it swing in the wind the moment you slip up”.

And as Alec laughed full and hearty and relieved, he lounged his whole self on Magnus and hugged the life out of him, “The tingles, I don’t feel them anymore”, he said.

“What tingles?”

“The ones that tickled my skin when we first met”.

Magnus hummed a thinking sound before replying, “Doesn’t that mean your excitement for me has died down?”

“Quite the opposite”, Alec replied, rubbing his nose against Magnus’s neck, “Back then my body was just confused but now, it has settled on what it wants”.

“Which is?”

“You. Us. A family”.

And it was then that Alec knew what his next step had to be.

And so,

One day,

In the confusion and heat of August,

Alec moved in.

He did it on a day Magnus was home.

He did it without warning.

He even brought his piano with him.

Magnus silently watched as Alec directed the movers where to put this and that like he was finally home sweet home - completely.  And so, with eyes that doted on Alec, Magnus sat and watched and smiled and felt as though the wind was lifting him off his feet with how light and floaty he felt.

“Magnus…”, Alec called and interrupted his fond thoughts, “Where to put the piano?”

“Beside the karaoke machine”.

“You don’t have a karaoke machine”.

“Exactly. Then we better buy one and have late night sing songs”.

Alec chuckled, “I was thinking more along the line of you strip dancing on the piano”.

Magnus laughed, pointing to a corner in the living room to fit the piano. “I don’t think you can handle me like that”.

The chuckle Alec made gave him crinkles at the corner of his eyes, “All the more reason to bring it on, sugar. I lo—ve a challenge”.

And the movers seemed a whole lot confused by the shameless, raw and flirty conversation going on between the two men – not that either Magnus or Alec took notice for before long they’d taken their banter to the kitchen about Alec colour coding everything and Magnus freaking out that Alec better not break his special teacup otherwise he’d hang him by his nipple buds.

They both erupted into laughter and amid the wind running amok through the balcony doors and in the curtains, the whole place fell silent – and the movers knew better than to intrude.  

Then a few days later the doorbell rang;

When Magnus opened the door, the most unexpected guest was standing there with a basket of doughnuts and croissant.

But with all the beauty in her smile, Magnus knew her presence couldn’t be anything good. He sighed and let her inside then called, “Alexander, your mother is here”.

Alec dropped the egg he was about to crack and fry.

\---

Magnus x Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx for reading!
> 
> 1st quote: Tyler Knott Gregson
> 
> 2nd & 3rd quote: by yours truly ^^
> 
> Also another light chapter but I feel like many things are packed in; some subtle, some bold... so I'm really looking forward to reading your thoughts on this one too XD


	11. mothers are a complicated story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec meets Magnus's mother.
> 
> Maryse comes to have a chat with Alec.
> 
> Magnus is getting jitters... we also find out more about his current situation with his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the timeline in this chapter is also a bit tricky. It continues from chap. 9 when Alec met Magnus's mother... then days pass between that time with the fundraiser party happening... before we reach the 'present'. I think you'll follow XD

‘Stop

looking

for

happiness

in the

same place

you

lost

it.’

One August night the moon heard the wind howling.

“Why are you crying?” the moon asked.

The wind ceased a while but not entirely calmed, “But you are crying too”, it replied.

And it was then that the moon lowered itself and wept as it said, “Because the human boy might be abandoned again”.

And without a reply, the wind continued to howl.

But before that,

Let’s go back a bit to that time when Alec first met Magnus’s mother.

It was just after he’d gotten over that Magnus married to Catarina scare but even then, it was one surprise after another.

Clearly,

Alec was looking forward to meeting Magnus’s mother – curious to see what kind of person would run away and leave her child and then unknowingly had that said grown child loyally take care of her in the best way possible. After all, dementia doesn’t change personality, it fragments and erases memories but the core of her being should still be there for him to judge and see.

On their way to the nursing home, Alec had stopped at a sweets shop, the same one he’d intended to take Magnus to that time for their first date but instead ended up in Chinatown.  Alec figured that Magnus’s mother would probably appreciate food from her own country so he ordered a serving of martabak and when it was handed to him, the melted cheese and sprinkled chocolate with crushed peanuts in-between made him wipe his lips with his tongue and somehow he had a good feeling about it.

After all—

‘Nothing

brings

to life

again

a forgotten

memory

like

fragrance.’

So Magnus didn’t stop Alec since he too would often bring her the sweet pancake and watched her enjoy it while he over and over relived a sort of misery from the stories she told but even so— he thanked Alec and made their way to the nursing home.

When they entered the room, Alec saw a woman with long black hair and vacant eyes but there was life in her cheeks as she smiled and Magnus let out a breath of relief – he couldn’t have Alec pity him should she had forgotten him like she often did and would either sit and stare at him trying to figure out who he was or just simply ignored him and spent the time looking through the window.

“You have a handsome friend with you today”, she said, walking up to Alec and was keenly looking at him as though Magnus had indeed carried his significant other home and told her he’s about to marry him.

“Thank you”, Magnus smiled, resting the martabak on the table. “His name is Alec and he’s my boyfriend”.

“She looked at Alec wide eyed, still sizing him up as though to see if he was any good for Magnus, “You never told me you had such a pretty friend”.

“Sure I did”, Magnus told her, opening the plate with the martabak, “I told you the other day, don’t you remember?”

“No…”, she shook her head deep in thought when she suddenly stopped and looked in Magnus’s direction, “Is that for me?” she asked, making her way to the sweet pancake, a happy light in her eyes and a smile was splashed on her cheeks as she cut the pancake in half and put a piece of it aside, “That’s for my  _buah hatiku_ ”, she said wrapping it up tight, “He loves it”, she smiled wider and fonder than she had before. “I’ll surprise him with it for breakfast”, she fussed and even adding another piece to the spare container, “It would be good if he wakes up before I leave so I can watch him eat one last time”, she mumbled more to herself. And then very suddenly, her mood shifted to one of uncertainty and distress fumbling about with the food in her hand, “But then again maybe it will be hard to leave him if I see him so—“ she paused deep in thought again before covering up the entire serving of the martabak, “I’ll leave it here and go before he wakes up”, she decided on, searching the room like she’d packed her bag and had it waiting on her, “Magnus", she called, taking hold of his hand, "Look after my  _buah haiku_ while I'm gone". 

And Magnus winced.

Sometimes, he wondered if he took pleasure in punishing himself and while that might’ve been true, he also had his reasons for doing the things he did. “I’m sure he’ll love it but he’ll be sad if you leave him behind”.

“It’s okay”, she replied, “He’s a strong boy”, she opened the drawers behaving as though she was about to pack a second bag, “I’m going places he cannot go. Very far places... going wherever the wind blows”.

“What for?” Magnus asked, acting as though he hadn’t seen this scenery for tens of times before and hadn't asked the same question and gotten the same stomach coiling answer but each time, he still kept his fingers crossed, hoping for a different more straightforward answer.

She looked at him and smiled again. Her eyes not so much vacant but distant like they were looking somewhere where they alone could see - just like those days before she left him with nothing but a piece of pancake. “I fell in love with it”, she plainly answered.

Alec found everything that was happening confusing – his mind just couldn’t keep up with the conversation nor Magnus’s reaction as his eyes flew wide in their surprise searching out Magnus’s. But when Alec neither got the reaction or clarity he expected, he held his bursting curiosity until they were back at the condo, “You didn’t seem surprised”, he said to Magnus.

To which Magnus shrugged, “Well after the first ten or so times you get used to it”, he said, “– it doesn’t even hurt anymore”.

Alec felt himself unable to breathe as the situation sunk in and he asked, “Magnus, don’t tell me this has been going on on repeat?”

“It has”, Magnus answered, flipping off his shoes. “Sometimes, I also bring her martabak”.

And more and more Alec began to get more confused, “And yet you never told her you’re her  _buah hatiku_? Isn’t this good that she remembered you?”

Magnus sighed shook his head, “I told you, she doesn’t remember me. If she did then she would’ve known it’s her  _buah hatiku_  standing in front of her”.

“But did you try?”

“Why would I?” Magnus asked, a pained laughter in his voice. “Of course I could tell her and relieve her for a few minutes or a day but why should I? Why should I be the only one who’s sad? Whenever those blurred fragments of her past comes to haunt her, letting her fruitlessly wait is her punishment”, Magnus said, his voice strong and the hurt he felt, he could no longer contain and when Alec only silently listened to him – his wide eyes suddenly relaxed in realisation when Magnus paused and asked, “What? Did you think I was made of peaches and strawberries?” he softly chuckled, peeling off his socks, “I’ve been to dark places, Alexander… I still take care of her but I’ll never forgive her— all the more so since I’ll never know what I really want to know –

"Which is... ?"

‘Why did she leave me?’

‘Did she find what she was looking for?’

‘Was it worth it?’

“She is my mother, but you’re my family, Alexander. She’s just a relative – my duty”.

And Alec found himself crying.

It wasn’t like he was sad for Magnus, it was just that he too, had found his own family in him and he just wanted to cry so much that it might’ve replaced the Nile. Pinching his cheeks so as to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, Alec also wondered if perhaps this, was his version of rags to riches because he truly felt as though he’d finally made it – like he’d climbed his way to happiness and he wanted to air hop to the moon and thank her for showing him Magnus that night and also thank the wind for all the secret passages it took to blow Magnus to him – and the whole reality of the daydream brought him shivers and tingles, pinning his skin like August was relaying a message from destiny telling him that he finally made it - that he could finally be the person, the man he was born to be and that everything under the sun, supported him.

And with this weight lifted off his shoulders, Alec fell on his knees, took Magnus’s hands and kissed his wrists, “Magnus, I swear— I’ll keep the stars in your eyes”.

But years of hard life doesn’t necessarily mean one day suddenly it will become easy… or perhaps it did but a complicated sort of easy – the sort of complication that pops up first thing in the morning days later after the fundraiser.

Alec walked out from the kitchen, the spatula still in hand and still wearing his apron, his eyes a fog of emotions that Magnus couldn’t read. But he very well knew the power a mother had over her child – he, himself was proof of loyalty to a women who abandoned him for reasons he will never know nor can even guess.

Maryse was looking at Alec from head to toe with a curious smile. “Were you by chance cooking or did you think I came armed?” she asked, nudging to the spatula in Alec’s hand.

It was only then that Alec took notice of his appearance and as though embarrassed or even ashamed being caught in a situation he knew his mother would find unbecoming of a son, he quickly handed the spatula to Magnus, took off the apron and quickly straightened his clothes. “I wasn’t expecting you”, he mumbled.

Save for that one day Magnus went to Alec’s workplace, he’d never seen him interacted with his mother and truth be told, Magnus didn’t like what he was seeing. Alec was fumbling and it was clear that his insecurity that plagued him was rising – it was like Alec had lost all sense of power in himself and like a child anticipating to be lashed by his parent, he was emotionally cowering – as though waiting to be told what he’d always heard and Magnus—

“No need to be that stiff, Alec”, Maryse said, “Look…”, holding out her hands with the basket of bread, “I’ve come bearing gifts”.

Looking from the basket and back to his mother, Alec was clearly all the more confused, his hands still by his side not sure if there was a catch of sort so he hesitantly asked, “Why are you here?”

Maryse dropped the basket in his hand and stepped past Alec, looking around Magnus’s apartment. “You left home without a word”, she said, running her fingers along the piano, “And even though you’re doing a lot better than I’d expected here’s the thing”, she paused, her eyes fixed on Magnus, a glare so sharp it could probably cut through a glacier before then turning to Alec, “I want you to come home, Alec”.

Both Magnus and Alec nearly choked at the same time, Alec all the more so and at this, Maryse smiled. “While you were away on a business trip the newspaper contacted me and Isabelle told me you won a charity award and I just think that’s great for the company and the family and so if it’s money you want then I’ll donate as much as you want to your cause since the company and the family will benefit but I can’t have you living at a man’s house. It just won’t look right, Alec. It’s not proper. People will talk. They’ll look at us like we’re some dysfunctional beasts pretending to be a family and all this effort will be for naught”.

Magnus was standing to the side observing and debating whether to get involved – after all, it wasn’t his battle and he wanted to believe that during their time together, that Alec had grown to stand up for what he wanted - because well, just recently Alec was talking high and mighty about cutting off Maryse and not so long ago he’d kissed his knuckles and called him family so Magnus decided to stand back and let Alec make his final decision because,  

He believed in him.

He had to.

So he retreated and left them alone.

And when the time comes, he would accept whatever outcome came, because if it was anything he’d learnt growing up as an orphan, it was that no matter how much he prayed and hoped, he couldn’t let the people he loved and needed stay.

So he would just accept whatever his fate might’ve intended.

Because,

He, Magnus— was used to being abandoned.

And while he knew that he and Alec were meant to be, he was also very much aware that not because they fell in love meant that they would have a happy ending – and he knew there was a name for that sort of unfortunate romance.

So Magnus silently left the condominium and soon ended up in his mother’s bedroom at the nursing home. And when she saw him, the vacant look on her face broke Magnus’s heart again. Six out of ten times it happened – she would forget him. It was like, she forgot him twice – the him she knew back in Indonesia and the him she’d met again in New York. This woman was rejecting him in every sense of the word and with every ounce of her existence.

But Magnus took a seat and watched her looking through the window before bit by bit the memory and familiarity of Magnus came back and she smiled her brightest joy that always sent Magnus’s heart to rise and fall and heave and drop because that smile was the same he remembered of her from all those years ago.

“You came back to visit this old lady”, she said to him, the smile still lovely on her face.

“Well, you’re my favourite person to spend time with”, he replied, sitting beside her by the window – old habits never die.

She laughed, “Don’t flatter an old lady like me. You must have a sweet young wife waiting for you at home”.

“More like a sweet young man who might not be waiting for me at home”, he tiredly smiled, looking through the window, there was really nothing to see and so Magnus wondered if he should asked at that very moment what she was looking at... this time, would she be able to tell him?

“Is that why you’re so sad?” she asked him, a hand reaching out to soothe his knuckles.

“Who said I’m sad?” he asked, shifting sideways, trying to hide his emotions.

“Your whole face says so”, she answered him, worry in her eyes and in her voice, “You smile when I look at you but sometimes when you think I’m not looking, I see your sadness in the mirror and I know it's sadness because it looks like mine”.

Magnus hummed a thinking sound, “My sadness looks like yours?”, he asked, very curious, “What do you mean?”

“It means I’m sad too”.

“I get that but why are you sad?”

“I don’t know”, she shook her head, “But I look outside and I feel the wind and then I suddenly feel like I’ve forgotten something”.

Magnus nodded – even people without dementia sometimes had such complicated and annoying feelings, “What does it feel like? That feeling of knowing you’ve forgotten something important?”

She hummed again, “Sometimes, I find a piece of martabak put aside and I wonder why – why didn’t I eat it all? Or why does the moon sometimes make me feel guilty like I did something wrong? And do you hear that wind out there? I can’t tell if it’s howling or crying but it feels as though it’s my fault", she sighed, "But maybe this is what's called old age”, she forced a vacant smile. “But Magnus, what’s the problem? You look as though you’re about to cry”.

And Magnus tried hard to swallow all the bitterness and the hurt and all the bad emotions that kept surfacing partly because he was truly upset and anxious over Alec but also because, here in front of him was the woman who triggered — the source of all his distress and she kept asking him what’s the problem and even if he did answer, 'you', she might just as easily have forgotten by the next minute. “Maybe I will cry”, he replied.

But he didn’t.

At least not yet because the only one to have seen him cry was the moon so he’d wait until she arrived that night and together, they’ll be lonely.  

When Magnus got back home, Alec was nowhere to be found.

So he poured himself a tall glass of gin and sat in the dark by the window, suddenly afraid to meet the moon – afraid that he might again need to be consoled.

And while Magnus was in shreds, Alec was at the office going back and forth with Maryse.

“You can’t do this to me”, Alec said, looking at her in disbelief.

“I’m not doing anything to you, Alec. All I’m trying to do is to help your cause and I’m telling you, the best way to get full sponsorship is to come back home and stick with your family. If you continue to play house with another man, society will never forgive you and then all your efforts will be wasted”, she preached, moving to stand in front of him, the features in her face gradually softening as she palmed his cheeks and lowered her voice to a tenor of gentleness – the sort of tone that Alec had yearned for many years. “Isn’t that why you followed me today?” she asked, smiling at him, “Didn’t you come because you finally came around and understood exactly where you stood and what you wanted?

And what you want Alec, is to be with your family— and together we can make your goal become a reality. You’ve finally proven your worth to the family. Your father and I have seen your potential and what you want to do and we can help you but only if you come home and be with us”.

And when Alec smiled, Maryse smiled back. “So are you ready?” she asked with twinkles of victory in her eyes.

“Yes”, Alec answered cracking his neck and flexing his shoulders, “I’m going home”.

\---

Magnus x Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx for reading!
> 
> 1st quote: Unknown
> 
> 2nd quote: Christopher Poindexter
> 
> Magnus... Alec....ugh... Maryse ugh.... Magnus's mother... I'm so looking forward to reading your thoughts on this chapter XD
> 
> Also, if my brain writes what it's now thinking, then the next chapter will be the last!...


	12. the whore, the orphan— and what's to be.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is going home.
> 
> And Magnus is ready to return to where the wind blows.
> 
> Simon also shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's timeline also jumps back and forth a bit in a single chunk so nothing you can't handle... I also think you'll appreciate it this way XD

‘Have

you ever

heard

the

wind

breathe?

It’s like

the

whisper

of

a

tired

soul

relieved.’

When Alec got home, the lights were off and the silhouette he came to know well was leaned against the wall with what looked like a drink in hand.

“What are you doing in the dark?” he asked, slowly walking closer without switching the lights on.

The silhouette took a sip and kept the head tilted back and to the side facing the outdoors, “Came back to make it official?” Magnus asked without even looking Alec’s way.

“Make what official?”

Magnus sighed then took another sip, “Don’t waste either of our time, Alec”, he finally turned around and replied with the moon round and big behind him, “Just hurry and get it over with. Go ahead and leave me. I was born ready for this”.

Alec moved as though confused and so in slow steps, he made his way over to where Magnus was, then reached over him and closed the curtains. He then kneeled on one knee in front of Magnus, “And what reason could there possibly be that would make me leave you?” he asked, masking his hurt with a sort of gentleness in his voice, “Magnus, what out there could possibly be better than you?”

Magnus felt the skip his heart made but he very well knew how much the heart was the biggest culprit to deceive and ruin itself and he couldn’t fall for it, otherwise he would truly become broken and that, he would never want – so he was determined to be left whole in his sadness and loneliness because he already knew how to deal with them— though this time, he feared that should he pull the curtains back and look outside then he might see the moon laughing at him for still being so gullible.

So he drank the whole content of gin and with sullenness replied, “The family you’ve always wished to love you and find use for you – their acceptance is everything you’ve always wanted and so, not because our skins tingle and we lose our breath around each other doesn’t mean—“, he sighed putting the glass down. “Alexander, an orphan, a whore— perhaps our story was never meant to end well", he said like he truly believed it, even as he added, "So go ahead and break my heart and let us be on our way”.

And Alec cocked his head to the side, his forehead crinkled deep in worry as he asked, “Be on your way to where? Where are you going leaving me?”, he asked, taking Magnus’s hands in his and brushing the knuckles against his lips again, “Magnus, after everything you’ve helped me through, how do you expect me to now live without you?” he asked, with eyes big and bold even in the heavily dimmed room. “Magnus...”, he called again, low and sweet but desperate, kissing Magnus’s palms and then guiding the tip of Magnus’s fingers to caress his cheeks, “I’m not going anywhere and you’re not going anywhere because I swear Magnus, there’s no way in hell I can live without you", he said, burying his face in Magnus's palms, "You called me your family, didn't you? Well guess what? You and Izzy is all the family I've got so guess what? I won't abandon you and you won't abandon me because families don't abandon each other".

And with that in a trickle the stars started to flicker again in Magnus’s eyes and his heart also started a skipping marathon that had him breathing in and out heavily and perhaps he would’ve collapsed from the floodgate of emotions Alec had just opened up but in and out he breathed, keeping his eyes fixed on Alec, a smile like the slow rising of the sun lit his face the way the first light of dawn does, “So you’re not going back home?” he asked, his eyes unblinking and glossed over with nervousness.

So again, Alec pressed his lips to the warmth of Magnus’s skin, “Didn’t you hear me?”, he asked and kissed him solid, “Magnus, I am home”.

And the stars brightened in full in Magnus’s eyes and in the same breath— in a swift sweep he pinned Alec to the floor, his elbow against Alec’s throat, his eyes a mob of pain and fear but there was relief in the shape of his lips when just as swiftly his mouth was pressed hot against Alec’s throat kissing and licking his neck. Alec flung his head back and opened himself wide, giving Magnus way to quell his pent-up anger. But even with the initial roughness, Alec felt his skin tingling from the excitement and his heart danced from being loved and needed.  
  
Magnus then stopped and looked at Alec with eyes red from crying as he said, “I did promise you could fuck me to your heart’s content and you’ll get your chance but I’m doing the fucking tonight”, he said, already pulling down Alec’s pants, “After all, I also did promise to rewrite every single time another man had made you cum”, he smirked, pulling his shirt off and before Alec could breathe, Magnus had their lips pinned in a long and hard kiss.

And when they let go to breathe, Alec smiled, “Oh, so it wasn’t a fluke”, he wiggled beneath Magnus, his hardness ruthlessly pushing against his trousers, to think that months and months they've been together but this was their first—

Magnus smiled and leant back in, brushing a peck against Alec’s nose and then his forehead and then the knobs of his ears.

“That tickles”, Alec laughed, wrapping his arms around Magnus and squeezing him tight. “Is tonight really going to be the night we make love?”

Magnus smirked, “Feeling like a virgin?”

Alec smiled, wiggled out of his trousers, “A little”.

“How pure?”, Magnus kissed Alec’s neck, rubbing his bare body against him - the heat between them gnashing to break loose as Alec found himself already struggling to catch his breath, his heart was beating so strong and hard that he feared it would rip through his chest and literally cling and hug Magnus’s own.  
  
Alec held his eyes shut and with his fingers pulling at Magnus’s hair, he shivered like the first time he met Magnus, holding his hips out waiting to be loved by Magnus’s whole body.

But when Magnus looked down, he gasped and paused, “And why the hell are you crying?”

“Fuck…”, was all Alec said, his body shaking in a marathon of shivers and spasms.

“Yes. We’re about to fuck”, Magnus shifted, honestly bemused.

“Never mind me”, Alec held his breath, wrapping his legs around Magnus and trapping him in his grip, “I’m just so happy to be born again”.

Magnus doesn’t reply. He instead leant down and kissed away the stray tear and kept his lips pressed to Alec’s jaws – their breathing, a soft whisper of relief, his heart was feeling full and he was starting to feel dizzy that reality was finally giving him what he’d always wished. “Then you better save your energy to survive all seven rounds”, he nibbled on Alec’s earlobe before locking their eyes, keeping his eyes intently on Alec as he slowly and smoothly moved all the way in.  
  
And Alec made a satisfied sound punctuated by a nervous chuckle as he took hold of one of Magnus’s hands and again kissed his knuckles, “Cleanse me, Magnus”, he said, “Cleanse my body as you did my soul”.  
  
And like an air balloon floating in Oz, Magnus took his time and showered Alec in happiness and glitters.

And by the time they both came undone, the wind had flipped the curtains and shifted them to the side to let itself in to cool them down as Alec kissed away the sweat beads from Magnus’s nape and shoulders. Magnus was on his side, looking through the window – searching for the moon but the sky was bare - not even a single star.

He wondered if the moon felt betrayed that he, Magnus - had officially graduated from loneliness.  

But then again,

The moon was never lonely, was it?

It had all the stars and planets in the galaxy and could always confide in the wind that could go places and always meet the sun and tell him stories of the moon and the nighttime universe but—

“Where do you think the sun goes at night?” Magnus asked, wrapping Alec’s arms around him.

Alec hummed and buried his face in Magnus’s collarbone, breathing in deeply. “Well it depends on where in the world you are. I imagine now it’s in Japan and Australia – those places”.

Magnus inhaled, deep in thought, “Then where's the moon, I wonder”, he muttered more to himself, turning around face to Alec.

Alec smiled and kissed his forehead, “So you do love the moon”, he teased, kissing him again.

“I didn’t say that”, Magnus laughed, poking Alec in the stomach. “By the way, what did you tell your mother?” he asked.

Alec was laughing and squirming from Magnus’s tickle. “I told her, I am going home”.

“Just that?”

.

.

.

 “I'm going home”, he told her, his smile turning into a laugh.  
  
 “What's so funny?” Maryse asked, looking at him more confused than amused.  
  
 “Life is”, he’d answered her, shaking his head.  
  
 “You sound crazy”, was her reply, and Alec could see the disapproving look creeping back into her eyes.  
  
But Alec nodded, “It does sound crazy... it's crazy how all my life I've wanted you to say what you just did: to proudly call me family and tell me how proud you are of who I am but...”, he paused, as though searching for the right words, “I don't know”, he said, still fumbling in his in thoughts, "It just doesn't feel as warm as I thought it would... it doesn't feel pure and cosy as when Magnus said it".  
  
Maryse immediately rolled her eyes, “Well sorry to disappoint you”.

“I am disappointed”, Alec genuinely replied, “It just feels like I've wasted so much of my short life wishing for something that's probably not even possible”, he cracked his neck again, his decision already made. “Well then, it’s as you wish, Mother. I am going home – home to Magnus”.

“Alec, liste―“

“Enough!”, Alec shouts, “I've had enough of you and your control. I am who I am and I will do what needs to be done the way I am with the man I love”, he inhaled, finding his blood becoming hot with anger that he’d wasted all this time refusing to accept what he’d always known – that he may never be accepted.

“Do you even know why I started a charity?” he asked, and he could feel the bitterness bubbling in him. “Of course you don’t. You don’t know nor care to know anything about me so guess what? As of now I don't need your validation― do you hear me? I no longer yearn for your acceptance. I came here today thinking you had a change of heart but, no... You’re my mother but you're a terrible person. You, her― all you two do is make pain for your sons well let me make this clear, mother”, he straightened his shoulders again, “I'm gay and I'm in love with Magnus and I'm never leaving him - not for you nor for anybody so you’ll just have to live with people talking and  _looking at us like we’re some dysfunctional beasts pretending to be a family_  ― so unless you completely disown me, which we both know you wouldn't - with all the appearances you need to keep up, then you better get used to us being together”.

And when she just stood at looked at him mean-faced and bitter, Alec gathered his things and told her, “You watch me, mother - you’ll get a front row seat to everything I’m about to achieve…”, he told her with a confidence so strong that Magnus would be proud. “I’ll get everything; I’ll make you money at the company, I’ll keep my charity going – and I’ll do it all with Magnus by my side”, he narrowed his gaze at her with all the determination in the world. He then took back the folder with the fundraiser plan of actions he'd carried over with him to discuss but just as he was about to leave, he suddenly stopped and added, “And believe it or not, I will send you an invitation to our wedding. Come or not…?” he shrugged his shoulders, “I don't care, but maybe you should. Good bye, mother. See you at work early Monday morning”.

.

.

.

Alec inhaled again and wrapped his arms around Magnus, kissing his shoulders as he answered, “I also told her we’re going to buy a karaoke machine, a pair of acid wash jeans and then I’m going to marry you”.

Magnus laughed but even without Alec saying it, he too understood― he also recognised and accepted that,

‘There

are times

you can neither

forgive nor forget

but you must

learn

to cut

your losses

and

move

forward.’

And so, 

One day,

In the early winds of April some half a year later, spring came and happiness bloomed and life became more and more prosperous.

“Let’s go pick up our daughter”.

“Do you think she’ll like us?”

Alec rolled his eyes, “Madzie already loves us, Magnus”.

And then,

On the eight day in December that year in a warm place near a cliff side town, hurried footsteps beat along the pavement in a sort of jolly tune.

There was this tiny boutique inn above a bakery, and in this inn, dressed in suits of white gold, Alec’s tongue flickered in and out of Magnus’s mouth – sweet kisses that had them tiptoeing on air to heaven. And when they finally released each other, Alec inhaled, looked Magnus up and down then exhaled with, “You're sexy as fuck but I really wanted to marry you wearing body tight acid washed jeans”.

Magnus laughed, “And I want to undress you now and stick it up your ass but I guess we don’t always get what we want”, he teased.

For as it were,

‘Once

in a while

right in

the middle

of

an

ordinary life,

love

gives

us

a

fairy tale.’

“Hey, you two hurry and get dressed”, Isabelle knocked on the door.

Magnus opened the door with the smile from earlier, greeting her with a kiss to the cheek while letting her in. “Alec, mother sent you something”.

Both Alec and Magnus looked at each other. “I’ll leave you two to it”, Magnus told him and left the room.  

“What’s this?” Alec turned around the voucher in his hands.

“Something blue and something old”, Isabelle said with a smile, “A blue pin for your suit and I don’t know why but it seems like mother also got you a secondhand karaoke machine”.

And Alec’s tongue nearly reached the ground, his eyes wide with surprise, “Really, mothers are a complicated story”, he smiled, tucking the voucher in his suit pocket. “And is that husband of yours ready to marry us?” he asked, “I really can’t remember why we’re having a Jewish wedding”.

“Because you’re chaotic and in love”, she answered with a laugh, locking her elbow with his, “And because Simon begged you to let him. Are you ready?”

Alec smiled, standing at the far end of the aisle. “I was born ready for this day”.

And so,

At a tiny whitewash seaside cathedral on a cliff overlooking the ocean blue, Isabelle walked Alec down the aisle to meet Magnus at the altar with Catarina by his side and Madzie scattering flower petals behind him – she was told to do whatever she felt would look pretty.

So when most of the basket of petals was already floating in the air before the ceremony even began, they all watched her and smiled brightly and gently like the fair prettiness just outside the stained glass windows; the sun was warm and the sea was calm and even though the air smelt salty, the sky was blue and the wind stood outside and waited with a smile.  

And just as Simon asked, “Do you Magnus, take Ale―“, Alec felt his heart do a hula loop.

“Wait! Magnus wait”, Alec rushed before Simon could finish.

“What is it?” Magnus asked wide-eyed.

“Magnus…”.

“Yes, Alexander?”

“I love you silly”.

“Of course you do”, Magnus smiled wide and beautifully, “Isn’t that why you’re marrying me?”

“Yeah, but I’ve never told you”.

“You don’t have to, I already know”.

“No, Magnus. You should say,  _me too… I love you too, Alexander_ ”.

Magnus actually chuckled. “Well I would've if you'd just waited. Simon hasn’t even said anything as yet”.

“I know. But I wanted to first you”, he blushed but stood determined.

And at that, Magnus’s whole face was filled with a smile much grandeur than the moon when it’s full, “That’s cheating”.

But Alec only laughed and took hold of his hands, “Magnus, I love you”.

“I know you do”, Magnus laughed again – wholehearted and pure. “I love you a whole lot too, Alexander”.

And right then and there, Alec did grab Magnus by his lapel and kissed him frank on the mouth.

Simon looked at them appalled, “Am I even necessary?” he asked, laughing along with Isabelle and Catarina, “Seriously, get a grip, you two”.

Magnus and Alec pulled away from each other and laughed, still holding hands and were finally paying Simon some attention.

Not long ago,

One midnight in Brooklyn,

With the wind in his coat,

And the moon dazzling like a giant white diamond in the sky,

They both felt it.

“Do you take―"

“I do”.

“And Magnus, do you―"

“I do”.

“Would you two please let me finish?” Simon reprimanded, though with the softest and gladdest of expressions, “You may now kiss the groom”.

And when their lips met, the wind made a ruckus and blew the cathedral doors and windows open, letting in the salty sea, the yellow in the sun and the visiting silver crescent in the blue sky. Magnus sighed into the kiss, supposing that that was the wind of fate that had connected them, and had been embracing them since, and that surely, such a coincidence of destiny would've been certain to deliver their inevitable day of vow on this day.  

After all,

That midnight, they'd both felt it;

_That feeling of knowing they’ll inevitably fall in love with each other._

When Magnus opened his eyes to take in the happiness of the universe at witnessing their perfection, he glimpsed the rare visitor in the day sky from the corner of his eyes and smiled, “So they finally meet, huh?” he whispered kissing Alec one more time.

“Um? They who? Our lips?” Alec asked as he kissed Magnus back, hugging him tight as Madzie emptied the basket of few petals around them to float in the wind.

And as the flowers danced in the December sky in a tropical place, Magnus smiled and replied, “The sun and the moon.”

\---

Magnus x Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've gotten this far, then THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!
> 
> I wrote the ending of this final chapter just after I posted chapter 2 so I pretty much knew how I wanted things... it was just a matter of how to get to this point and so, the best part of writing this story was reading your feedback and knowing what I was trying to achieve was reaching you - truly, I'm not exaggerating when I say, they made my days, weeks and months!
> 
> So,
> 
> Thx for reading!
> 
> 1st and 2nd quote: Yours truly , me ^^
> 
> 3rd quote: Unknown ;(
> 
> And I know I always say this but, truly, I'm so very very much looking forward to reading your thoughts on this final chapter XD


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